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I Am Not Okay

I feel as though I am losing myself, slipping away, and I don't know how to make it stop. It gets like this a lot, to the point where I don't even see the point in living. But I have to carry on for everyone else, and because I feel like I have no real reason to feel the way that I do. I am so angry about everything all of the time, and jealous. I can't socialise with people easily because I just can't relate, and my brain is really messed up in how it thinks about a lot of things. I'm stuck in this weird no mans land of knowing something is wrong but also feeling like nothing will change. I don't know. I haven't explained this very well, I'm sorry. I don't even know what I'm expecting to get out of this.

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caccoon · 36-40

Aww, you poor thing... It's good to talk about this stuff!!

Have you ever talked to anyone about it before?

Are you comfortable talking to a counselor about it, at school? (If you have one at your school?)

loveyourselfalways00 · 22-25, F

@caccoon: I have had counselling, both the school counsellor and external ones. But I can never explain exactly what it is. It feels so ingrained in me that it's more a personality than a problem with me, you know?

caccoon · 36-40

@loveyourselfalways00: Thanks for replying!

Hmm, I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes the way we feel can be hard to put into words.

"it's more a personality than a problem with me, you know" Do you mean it feels like a whole different state of mind? (Hope I'm not putting words in your mouth!)

loveyourselfalways00 · 22-25, F

@caccoon: Yeah kind of, I really don't know how to explain it. Just that I seem to be so many different people, and all of them are just wrong in some way and don't fit in with each other

caccoon · 36-40

@loveyourselfalways00: I'm so sorry, that must be terribly hard to deal with. Well, if it you think it helps, you should keep posting! It's good to get the thoughts out of your head, and down on paper (or screen), I think!! Good luck, keep being strong. <3

loveyourselfalways00 · 22-25, F

@caccoon: Thank you so much, your words have been quite calming <3

caccoon · 36-40

@loveyourselfalways00: I'm happy to hear that!! Have a lovely evening. You can PM me anytime if you want to talk. :) <3 I will just listen!

loveyourselfalways00 · 22-25, F

@caccoon: Thank you so much!!