I Am Still In the Process of Moving On

@fairone you make it sound like going the slutty way is better for her? i am not prudish, but i believe she should really give true love a chance now that she has found it... running from superficial relationship to try [quote]lots of new adventures and loves[/quote] seems so shallow 💔

@newbie There is nothing “slutty” about not settling for a potentially unhappy relationship. If it was “true love” wouldn’t they be together ?

@bijouxbroussard well none of us can know with any certainty of course... 🤗i am just so moved with the depth of the bond she describes that i find it superficial and too easy to just give up and move on to the next lover 💞😥

maybe i'm a bit old fashioned? but is it really so bad to give love a second chance?

@newbie Well, she’s saying she’s “trying to move on” but wants to reach out. There are unknowns. How do we know [b]he[/b] didn’t end things, for example ? Sometimes you have to be smart, not sentimental—that’s when you get used.

@bijouxbroussard on the other hand if you are always having your guards up, second guessing your partner and expecting the worst - you will never experience true love ... you need to open your heart and - yes be used by love - to really feel that bliss it is when you're with your true soul mate. 🤗

have you ever experienced that? you sound a bit hardend?

@newbie I know what true love is. I also know it can be missed if you waste yourself on someone who doesn’t actually love you. And what I thought at 22-25 was pretty much what you think now. It’s not being hardened, it’s more like learning the facts of life.

@bijouxbroussard is it fair to call it hardend by the facts of life? sounds like you didnt have it easy?

I understand what you say - we can always dream of the next big love just around the corner if we cut loses and move on. maybe you're rigth when you have been unlucky and fall in love with a bad person, but sometimes you just have to put in some effort to make love work ... and not give up so easy and the slightest diffculty...

@newbie Yes, but we don’t know [b]why[/b] they’re not together. Like I said, [b]he[/b] might’ve broken things off. She might’ve left an [b]abusive[/b] relationship—even then people who must leave have regrets. There could be a very sound reason they’re [b]not[/b] together. She says she knows things “will not go back to the way they were”. Who are we to second guess that ?

@bijouxbroussard i'm refraining from second guessing. and it seems odd you're asuming such negative things like abuse and worse. most likely they just had a fight... not everyone are in horrible abusive relationships - in that way we should not project our own experiences on someone else and use that as basis for advice. I'm truly sorry you had bad relationships, although it's good you managed to find true love after a long time and many failed attempts, but for most people it's just a matter of overcoming those small matters and adjustments that make a relationship deep and full 💕

@newbie Please don’t [b]assume[/b] anything about [b]me[/b]. That would be a mistake. My point is that there is a [b]reason[/b] they are not together. You don’t know it, I don’t know it, but some things just make sense, life is not all fairy tales and roses.

@bijouxbroussard indeed, none of us know. based on your experience you assume the worst (abuse and he dumping her), i assume the best in people and maintain my hope for love ❤ - you're right maybe i'm naive - and thankfully i dont have your many years of bad experiences ... but i still think my point is valid: even when there is some hardship giving up on true love too easy is such a sad (and complacent) thing to do. even in the best relationship you have to work for love 🤗

@newbie Like I said, you’re [b]assuming[/b] and I don’t think you really understand where my perspective comes from. I volunteered at a women’s shelter for some years, so I didn’t have to be hurt myself to learn how easily naive young women can be taken advantage of, searching for their prince. I did find mine, btw, and I did lose him—to death. I’m a widow. So save your pity, please.

@bijouxbroussard well if you dont mind my pity does actually extend to you going through the hardship of losing your one true love 😢 you seem to always assume the worst and have hardened yourself so much you cant believe most people actually care for their fellow sister - including you ❤ i dont know you, but still i can wish for you to be happy and loved right? of course it's just well meaining thoughts, but it's nice to know there is someone out there thinking about you.

so are you now following your own advice and quickly moving on to the next love adventure waiting for you out there? would be extremely hypocritical if not?

@newbie I am living the rest of my life as best I can. I think that’s all anyone can ask, wouldn’t you ? And I think you have my advice confused with that of the other poster. I don’t believe a young person who has [b]stated[/b] she needs to move on is “slutty” for getting out and meeting other people. That presumes she’s being advised to jump into bed with them. No such advice was given.

@bijouxbroussard i guess you are really meaning well, but you come across as an extremely negative person: one of those always looking for the down side, the hidden agenda, the turn of events that will hurt you, the hidden and hurtful intentions, etc etc. don't you ever get tired of always expecting the worst? 😢

can you imagine all the wonderful things that are possible if you let light, love and general positive thinking into your life? 🤗

maybe i'm still young and naive, but i dread how it would be if i was to go through life the way you approach it 😳

@newbie Well, I guess that means I can only be pleasantly surprised. I’m a [b]realist[/b] and I don’t see that as a negative thing at all. But I truly don’t wish to rain on your parade, so I will bid you adieu. 🙂

@bijouxbroussard thanks for at least letting me keep my positive outlook on people and life ❤ it's gracious of you not spreading more negativity or try to drag others down with you 🤗

@newbie Hahaha ! Yes, isn’t it ? At least you made [b]me[/b] laugh. Not everyone can. 😄

@bijouxbroussard you're welcome - humor is one of the most life assuring things we have together 😅🤗 dont get me wrong - i do appreciate learning from your life experiences (just dont want to get dragged into all that negativity)

@newbie It’s fine. We don’t have to talk anymore. Take care.

@bijouxbroussard thanks a lot for sharing your experiences - and happy we at least can laugh together 🤗