I Feel Sad When Bad Things Happen To Good People

In my eyes, I am a good person for the most part, trying my best to encourage others and stay out of trouble, but there is an ache in my heart. I want to belong to somebody, I want to feel like I matter and I make a difference. In times past I had friends, I had family, I had people to talk to, but only when it was about them or for them. Now I am alone, working alone, walking alone, living alone. I have people all around me, yet nobody asks how I am doing; nobody sees my tears at night or listens to my feelings. I am in a prison of tears and the bars are rusted through, yet nobody sees me. Behind my smile, which was once bright, is now another tear drop of pain. I have lost feeling, I have become numb. Numb to the noise of failures, lies, dissatisfaction, numb to it all. Nobody really needs me anymore; or so I think, but I also know if I can not find a friend, or I can not be helpful, then who will? So I put on my brave face each and everyday and continue to smile, wave, laugh, and run on auto pilot. I am a robot in a sea of faces, and yet nobody knows me. At some point in this life, I will rise above this beauty of brokenness, but until that day comes, I will hold onto hope of a better life, a better future, and somebody who means what they say; liars have no place near me; I have no need for drugs, alcohol, or cheating either. I had that long enough and when I find the truth, it is not as pretty as it should be, why darken my world of happy? Why bother me or plague me with your rouge and weary hatred> just knowing the truth and living in peace; it's all I want for my broken wing to heal.