I Feel Like Giving Up

For the last little bit I've been trying to find connections. Instead I've found nothing but more solitude. It's starts the same and it ends the same. The moment people meet me and we hang out they stop taking to me.

My mind can only take so much. Im trying so hard to keep the storm at bay but every time it gets more and more difficult to do so. Part of me just wants to find a hole to crawl in and never come out.

The only person still talking to me is this "guy" from Germany online who is in love with me and is probably a catfish or a scammer. Everything around me feels like it's falling apart. I'm poor, I'm alone, and I'm being swallowed by a lack of meaning/purpose.

Here I thought I'd figure everything out as I got older. I'm more confused then ever.