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A Disappointing Reunion

Earlier tonight, I saw a friend (just a friend, not an ex gf) who I haven't seen in a fairly long time. I went through a good amount of trouble to make the night enjoyable. I cleaned up my apartment and spent a decent amount of money on some nicer-than-usual quality food to make.

At first the conversation was a little awkward, almost like neither of us knew where to start. I expected that. Catching up with someone isn't always easy, especially when you regret not keeping in touch with them. But then things got bad. She brought up a past issue that I clearly didn't want to discuss with her (or anyone really) and when I made that clear to her, she made it seem like it's my duty to let her take the conversation wherever she wants. The issue in question didn't even really affect her. All she had to do was let it go.

She was angry that I snapped at her after she repeatedly refused to change the subject. I admit that I got a little too testy, but she seemed to discount everything else that I did (the cooking, cleaning, etc.) to make the night a good one. I don't even really regret the time and money that I spent. I regret letting her back into my life just for tonight because it reminded me how you don't really ever know if you're still friends with people.

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CestManan · 46-50, F

Unless you two split on bad terms last time, there was no reason to believe things would go bad this time.
If this was someone you used to date, try not to forget people break up for a reason.

If she was nagging you and you snapped, that is normal.

I think more often than not, friendships tend to pick up where they left off so for others, things should go well.

justarandomwriter · 26-30, M

@CestManan She was just a friend. She started dating someone and moved off campus so we didn't see each other very much. She also started fighting with another one of my closer friends so that made things difficult even though I wasn't directly involved in the fight at all.

karysma · 31-35, F

The thing is with time people change and so do their characters. This is the reason why I don't do friendship. I don't have the energy for it

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karysma · 31-35, F

@CestManan My least favorite is when they give you one word answers when you text them. I'll be thinking why not just block me if you don't wanna talk to me

CestManan · 46-50, F

@karysma I do not know if people still do this but I think it should be a crime for people to text only "ok" UNLESS it is truly called for. Like, "See you there tomorrow" "ok".

But when you spill your soul and they give that lameo response, THAT calls for an ass whoppin.

karysma · 31-35, F

@CestManan

But when you spill your soul and they give that lameo response, THAT calls for an ass whoppin.

I know right 😂😂😂. People still do it trust me. Sometimes they be acting like they don't know you and at times they be acting like they don't wanna talk to you. It's the reason I keep my circle very small cause it can leave you thinking you did something wrong when you didn't

hartfire

Curious.

I wonder what the feeling was that led the two of you to drift apart.
Perhaps there were unspoken tensions back then, or a lack of sufficient shared values and interests... could be countless things, possibly different on each side.

It sounds like she has little respect for boundaries, so probably not the ideal person for a friendship anyway.

At least you can now enjoy the fruits of the clean-up and the yummy food.

What sorts of things do you randomly write?

SammyJo · 51-55, F

Sometimes these things happen.....just see if she messages you....sorry that you felt a bit uncomfortable and it didn't go as planned...

SJD xx

justarandomwriter · 26-30, M

@SammyJo Thanks for the kind words. You're right about this type of thing being unavoidable. It has to happen to someone I guess 🤷‍♂️

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

This ‘past issue’ that “you don’t want to discuss” is clearly still a sore point.
What made you think this meeting was a good idea ?

justarandomwriter · 26-30, M

@Picklebobble2 It had been a long time since we'd seen each other and we certainly had our fair share of good times together. I figured that I could potentially reconnect with an old friend. If things didn't work out, then I don't really suffer because she already wasn't a part of my life anymore.

Truthfully, the issue itself wasn't the sore point. Friends fight and you have to learn to move past it. I was annoyed that she clearly thought the issue needed to be discussed and resolved. I understand her intentions, but I made it clear that I wasn't ready for a heart to heart and she wouldn't accept that.

kimmy159 · F

She sounds like an ex girlfriend, was that the case?

justarandomwriter · 26-30, M

@kimmy159 No actually 😂 I guess I should've made that clear

kimmy159 · F

@justarandomwriter Friendships also change over time. You could say it goes through different phases too. I find fights with friends usually come from different expectations about what a friend should be like or different point of views about something that really matters to them. I haven’t been able to restore the friendship with anyone I had a real disagreement with (luckily hasn’t happened a lot). Sometimes over time the contact fades out instead of having a fight. I’ve found that it’s better to let that be the case too rather than trying to fix that ^^ Some people are only meant to be passerby’s in your life, whether or not you share the journey for a long period of time 😄

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justarandomwriter · 26-30, M

@SW-User I appreciate you being so direct. Being blunt is a lost art :)

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