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I Love Technology

But not as much as the rest of my family!

It's the truth ... I'm pretty good with my phone and my laptop and my other gadgets ... I stream my music and TV choices ... keep a digital calendar ... so I'm pretty digital compared to the average person. Yeah yeah, I know, an 18 year old girl telling you she's digital is like January telling you it's cold 馃檮 I get it.

But here's the point: Within my family, I'm the least techy. It's the truth. My parents are way more into gadgets and tech than I am.

So my brother builds his own computers. He's built a server for the house that has all the pictures and videos of our lives sitting there mere seconds away from being played at family parties. Wanna see the nurse's teaching my mom to give me my first bath the day after I was born? Yup, it's there, and it's been shown at family parties. 馃槖 He's also built his own computer for gaming. I don't know if he even has a cover for it because it's never on. I think that's because he's always changing out or upgrading something inside.

And dad? Oh yeah, if it's used to take a picture, he has it. Go-Pros, zoom lens phone attachments, under-water cases, etc, etc, etc.

But what I really wanna tell you about is mom. I was chatting with a friend of mine on here and the topic of how digital my family is came up. And I started going into mom and her obsession with schedules and calendars. When she discovered Google Calendar, [b][u]MY[/u][/b] life changed dramatically. And please don't get me wrong here; I love my mom, but...do we all really need to use linked Google Calendars????

[quote][b][c=#BF0000]Mom[/c]:[/b] "Jess aren't you going to the senior class breakfast Friday?"
[b][c=#BF0080]Me:[/c][/b] "Yeah, of course. Why?"
[b][c=#BF0000]Mom:[/c][/b] "Oh no reason. I just didn't see it on your calendar."
[b][c=#BF0080]Me:[/c][/b] *blank stare*[/quote]
Yes, that really happened this past spring right before graduation.

And then there was this one from just a couple weeks ago:
[quote][b][c=#BF0080]Me:[/c][/b] "Mom do I have to go to that dinner Thursday?"
[b][c=#BF0000]Mom:[/c][/b] "I marked you optional on the invite."
[center]*looks at me like I should've known that*[/center][b][c=#BF0080]Me:[/c][/b] "Sorry, I thought I'd actually speak to you live. You know, out loud."[/quote]

This is what life has been like for about three years now since mom discovered Google Calendar at work. My phone automatically has all these color coded events and reminders populated in the calendar. Yeah, today is my uncle's birthday and the first reminder to call him popped up yesterday. 馃檮

So what's a girl to do, huh? Well ... me being me ... I created an event last year for an upcoming Friday night. It said: [b][i][c=#BF0080]Find random guy, lose v-card[/c][/i][/b]

[center]馃榿[/center]
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MarkPaul26-30, M
*Gets on Google Calendar and schedules a conference with your Mom about your performance on SW.*
@MarkPaul *sees event on mom's calendar ... gets bro to write a custom, undetectable virus and sends it back to all your devices causing them to wipe all drives and memory*
MarkPaul26-30, M
@IAmJess *Pays your brother 馃挵馃挼馃崷 off. Crisis averted. Writes letter to your Mom and includes your posting grades. Suggests meeting of urgent concern for your future.*
@MarkPaul *my bro, being my biggest fan, takes your money, gives me the ice cream, and laughs as you hit send on that email knowing that within nanoseconds your computer is toast*
MarkPaul26-30, M
@IAmJess *Ice cream is laced with sleeping pills, you fall into a deep sleep. Being paranoid AF, my server detects the virus on its way and begins a counter maneuver of denial of service attack flooding your server and jamming it. While you are fast asleep and your brother is attempting to ease the demand on your server, there is a knock on your door. Your mother asks...* "Who's there?"

"Candygram," I answer.
@MarkPaul *a few hours later you wake up realizing the success of your evil plan was all a dream since the virus was undetectable ... I wake up from a nice ice cream-induced nap and bro tells me of our great success*
MarkPaul26-30, M
@IAmJess Wow. I feel so tired and disoriented. 馃 Jess... 馃槫
@MarkPaul 馃榿