I Lost Myself Again
Help, I lost myself again - Billie Eilish
Everyone is addicted to something and you are by far my favourite thing to be addicted to.
Not the fine lines on my skin,
Not the puffs of smoke,
Not the whiskey neats. You; and its not because you make me feel the same way.
You don't.
You don't give me temporary relief from inflicting a certain amount of pain on my skin.
You don't give me the temporary happiness from drowning back a shot.
You don't give me high.
You give me a home...You give me everything but temporary.
You are my own personal brand of nicotine, my personal drug. Mine.
I wish it were that simple.
I wish that drowning in your eyes would be all the liquor I needed.
I wish that inhaling your scent would be all the cigarettes I needed.
I wish that the pain of loosing you would be all the pain I needed.
Buts its not.
Because no matter how much you tell me you love me I will never believe you.
Because no matter how much you tell me I am beautiful I will always beg to differ.
Because no matter how much of that is true I will never be enough.
Its not because I do not believe you,
Its not because you are not enough,
It is not because I love you any less.
It is because I will never be worth your love in return.
It is because I will never be whole to be dependent enough.
It is because even if you promise me the starts and the moon no matter what I do, I will never be good enough for you.I will never be what you deserve.
Everyone is addicted to something and you are by far my favourite thing to be addicted to.
Not the fine lines on my skin,
Not the puffs of smoke,
Not the whiskey neats. You; and its not because you make me feel the same way.
You don't.
You don't give me temporary relief from inflicting a certain amount of pain on my skin.
You don't give me the temporary happiness from drowning back a shot.
You don't give me high.
You give me a home...You give me everything but temporary.
You are my own personal brand of nicotine, my personal drug. Mine.
I wish it were that simple.
I wish that drowning in your eyes would be all the liquor I needed.
I wish that inhaling your scent would be all the cigarettes I needed.
I wish that the pain of loosing you would be all the pain I needed.
Buts its not.
Because no matter how much you tell me you love me I will never believe you.
Because no matter how much you tell me I am beautiful I will always beg to differ.
Because no matter how much of that is true I will never be enough.
Its not because I do not believe you,
Its not because you are not enough,
It is not because I love you any less.
It is because I will never be worth your love in return.
It is because I will never be whole to be dependent enough.
It is because even if you promise me the starts and the moon no matter what I do, I will never be good enough for you.I will never be what you deserve.
22-25, F
