I Hate Asking For Help

Yet it's the thing I need most right now. If someone offers even 1% of a listening ear, I bite it off at the moment. But it's not whinging, or similar. My problems are real in the eyes of most of the people around me. But, I need help so much it's interfering. I'm concerned that when I go to the work bbq... I will probably just break down in tears over it all. I almost just ran out crying today. I said something stupid, in writing so it can be shared around, to someone at work last night. I need a break. I've worked too hard for too long now, I need a break. I need an all night conversation, until dawn, and to fall asleep in someone's arms as the sun blazes through the window at 5.30am. Not to 'sleep with them', but to actually sleep in the comfort of another human being. I need to help and be helped at once. That was the point of the message I sent last night: to say that I want to talk. Long talk. And I make time for that, every time. And I don't cheat, so please don't be scared of spending the night. That was all. Harmless. But I skipped the part about asking to talk.

There it is. I'm scared to ask for help. It's been a problem of mine my whole life actually, now I think of it. A-levels. Coursework - I would have to submit it, and they would comment. Not asking for help as I went along.

Asking for help is my biggest weakness. My achilles heel.

Now I know. At long long last.

Ask. It's oh so much easier that way, this from a guy who never has... The best position from which to say that with any kind of certainty!