I Was Raped and Feel Scared All the Time

two weeks. in two weeks I will see your face. I will be sitting in that mahogany chair next to the judge telling my story to a bunch of strangers in suits. eyes will be watching me, even yours. I'll tell them how you forced yourself on me, and how your voice echoed in my head like a thunderstorm. like glass shattering. your touch burned my skin like acid. I will grit my teeth as I tell them how I said no. I'll tell them how you almost caused my death that night. your voice echoed in my head for months "don't tell anyone." angry waves splashing around in my head crashing into my brain causing it to change the way I think about the world. nothing was the same anymore. everything hurt. I hated men of any age. they are all evil. they don't know when "no means no". I'll get the weirdest sense of deja vu when I sit in that court room as I look at your face and see nothing but darkness. evil dressed in formal wear. you can't fool the jury. I'll expose you and tell the truth so that no other girl will ever have to go through what I had to experience. even if I don't win you will know that you did not get a split second to get away with this. my voice will rise above yours as I speak clearly about how you dominated my body when I couldn't move. I will make sure that you will hear me loud and clear as I say exactly what you did to me so you never forget for one second and for one day that you took advantage of someone half your size. tears will be shed, hate will rise out of my body faster than lightning shoots out of the sky. fear will creep into me because I'm in your presence once again but I'm not alone with you this time. you can't hurt me this time. yes I'll be crying uncontrollably but at least I'll have my voice this time.