Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Want to Share Something

[center][b]The Best laid Plans of Mice and Men[/b][/center]

Ten years ago, I came up with a somewhat dubious plan. I had just lost my beloved mother so, perhaps, formulating any strategies about my long-term future wasn’t the best thing for me to be doing at the time. Anyway, the plan was to get rid of everything that I owned (and by that, I mean EVERYTHING!), don a backpack and, travel the world.

It’s been a really, really tough ten years. Tougher than I ever imagined life could be for me. But, on Thursday, 12th December, I donned a backpack (…………OK, OK, OK, it’s two backpacks, a large duffel bag and………a Sainsbury’s carrier bag) and left Hertford.

Hertford, the place which has been my temporary home and haven for the last year. Thanks to a select few (and rather amazing) individuals, I have been able to sort my life out and make that “dubious” plan a reality.

So, on Sunday I leave the UK and head for my first stop, Calais. From there, I will visit as much of continental Europe as possible, a few North African countries and, some of the Middle East. I’m going to be taking photos and writing stories about the things that I see and experience.

For now, I’m in Dover. It’s a bit of a weird place. On the one hand, it’s a busy port, a gateway to Continental Europe. On the other, it’s rundown and more than a little bedraggled. It has a rich history, Dover Castle dates back to the 11th Century and has, within its grounds, one of only three surviving Roman-era lighthouses in the world.

I’m sitting by a window in the hotel lounge, the sky is blue and the sun is lighting up the Castle. The Union Jack flutters in the breeze. But around me are housing estates, motorways and, generic shopping centres. All of the buildings which speak to the character of the town are, as near as damnit, derelict. It’s pretty sad really.

Then again, maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m sad to be leaving.

Obviously, I’m happy to be embarking on this adventure but, there’s no denying, a part of me is sad.

I wish I knew why!

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

swirlie · 31-35, F

Obviously, I’m happy to be embarking on this adventure but, there’s no denying, a part of me is sad. I wish I knew why!
[c=#008099]
I discovered many years ago (at the age of 10) that when we feel sad for no apparent reason, yet we respond emotionally 'as if' something had happened that made us feel sad at some point in our recent past, it is because the sadness we feel did not originate in our current lifetime.

The unaccounted-for sadness we feel today originated from an event that occurred in a previous lifetime of which we 'carried forward' the unforgiven aspects of that ancient event, which now plays out in our mind 'as if' the emotional aspect of it had only recently happened. In other words, our sadness from an unknown source is nothing more than our 'remembering', but we are nonetheless unable to connect the dots.

Even crap we really did experience in the childhood of our current lifetime we tend to 'get over' with time and lay it to rest once and for all. But the unidentifiable sadness you speak of did not come from this lifetime which is why you cannot put your finger on the source. If it happened in this lifetime, you would remember the finer details surrounding that sadness. But it didn't! Only the unforgiven memory remains to seemingly haunt us.[/c]

1-25 of 36

room101 · 51-55, M

@swirlie Thank you for your comment. It's very well formulated and expressed. Sadly, however, I find it very hard to accept ideas about past lives and reincarnation etc. For me, not knowing why we feel sad (or indeed any emotion), has a far more straight forward answer. And it's twofold.

First, bio-chemistry. Our emotions are triggered by the release of hormones. Sometimes these hormones are released as a direct response to various physical stimuli. Sometimes the glands responsible for the release of these hormones simply misfire. They misfire for all sorts of reasons, chronic conditions, a chemical imbalance caused by a lack of minerals and vitamins etc. Whatever, the point is that we get these emotions because of what is physically going on in our bodies. Therefore, because we may not know what's going on in our bodies, we may be confused about why we feel a certain way. If we are feeling happiness for no apparent reason, we simply accept it and enjoy the ride. But it's when we feel sad that we begin to question ourselves, simply because we do not want to feel sad. Feeling sad is not conducive to survival and survival is the most important drive that any living organism has.

Second, reason and logic. Generally, we can mentally examine events and interactions and reason out the impact that those events and interactions have had on us emotionally. We can see the logic behind why we feel the way we do. Again, if we are feeling happy for no apparent reason, we don't ask why. However, there can be all sorts of barriers to this process of reason and logic. For example, we may simply not want to accept our role in the event or interaction that has caused us distress or, we may not consciously be aware of the full implications of that event or interaction. But, sub-consciously, our brain is telling us that something's not right. We basically experience a form of cognitive dissonance. These are just two examples of barriers to reason and logic.

The two factors that I've outlined (perhaps rather clumsily) above, are not an either or scenario. They tend to happen in tandem with each other.

I first wrote this post almost a month ago. Ergo, I've had a month to reflect on why I felt sad. I know exactly why I felt sad to be leaving. It's because of a multitude of events that started in March 2008. And here's the kicker, I knew this when I wrote this piece. I've known it all along. It's just that, there are times when I don't want to connect the dots (as you put it) and admit it.

swirlie · 31-35, F

@room101
Sadly, however, I find it very hard to accept ideas about past lives and reincarnation etc.
[c=#008099]
Your comments remind me of someone who goes to the Doctor with an ailment, but then self-diagnoses his own problem when he gets there as the Doctor looks on in silence.

That will be $35 for my professional services, please! Would you like to pay with cash, credit card or debit?[/c]

room101 · 51-55, M

@swirlie Your analogy works very well, especially in terms of your last paragraph. Because that's what tends to happen when "advisors" put forth cures and advice which cannot be empirically tested or objectively examined in any way. Only difference is, the charge is usually a lot higher than $35.

So, thank you very much for your diagnosis but I'd rather go with provable science.

By the way, were you intending to be ironic? Or, do you actually believe that unprovable ideas about previous lives etc are comparable with medicine?

swirlie · 31-35, F

@room101
[c=#008099]
Medicine is for people like yourself who believe science contains magical powers that can surely cure you of your self-imposed ailments. Good luck with that one! But you're wasting your money just like everyone else who ever went to the Medicine Man at a circus!

I was offering you a discount at $35 for my services, but fuck you and your people for your ignorant mentality! You now owe me $100.[/c]

room101 · 51-55, M

@swirlieNo my darling, I do not believe that science contains magical powers. Just as I do not believe in your reincarnation mumbo-jumbo. Your nonsense is straight out of the snake-oil salesman’s playbook. As you have more than adequately illustrated in your closing paragraph.

I owe you $100? I did not seek your diagnosis. I rejected your unsolicited diagnosis. Ergo, no contract exists between us. Also, as it’s obviously escaped your attention, this is an anonymous site with no commercial relationships between the participating parties. So, as you say………..good luck with that one😂😂😂

And boy, did you get your knickers in a twist in double quick time or what?

You started with a polite, eloquent and reasoned comment. The fact that it lacked any and all credibility is neither here nor there, it was polite, eloquent and reasoned. Therefore, I responded in kind. I too was polite, eloquent and reasoned. But hey, guess what! Because I rejected your nonsense premise, out came the insults. So please, be my guest, take your people, your nonsense ideas and all of you, go forth and multiply.

room101 · 51-55, M

@swirlie P.S. We do agree on one thing.............the orange moron. Shame that this interaction went downhill so rapidly. Hey ho 🤷‍♂️

swirlie · 31-35, F

@room101
[c=#008099]
You are projecting what you are obviously feeling about yourself. Do you always do that? Why do you feel the need to do that to yourself? And why did you allow the insecurities you clearly harbor within yourself to undermine our interaction? But then you turned into an ignoramus as soon as your scientific opinion was threatened! Do you always do that?[/c]

room101 · 51-55, M

@swirlie Projection...........hhhmmmmm. Do you mean how you turned into a condescending, self-righteous ignoramus as soon as I challenged your reincarnation nonsense with hard science. And then went on to accuse me of being ignorant.

Tell me, do you know what the word ignorant means. I'll keep it simple for you. It means to lack knowledge. Knowledge in general and/or knowledge concerning a specific topic.

[i]".....fuck you and your people for your [b]ignorant[/b] mentality!"[/i]

A good sign of both ignorance and projection, is assuming that the person with whom you are conversing is ignorant of the topic being discussed. You assumed that I dismissed your ramblings out of ignorance of the subject matter.

What caused you to make such an erroneous assumption? Is it because you are generally ignorant about many things so you project your lack of knowledge onto others.

No need to reply. The question is rhetorical.

Actually, please don't reply. I don't want my post further polluted by your abusive language and mindless ramblings.