I Have Days When I'm Sad
Today is one of those sad days. I have been teaching online for a meagre salary, but since the virus spread out of China, bookings have been incredibly low. I was building up my platform and doing fairly well, only for it all to take a major hit. The 3 regular students I had acquired have either stopped taking classes or have removed me as their regular teacher and stopped taking almost all of their classes. I still had one student that regularly booked me, until I looked today and saw they've removed me.
It's really depressing. I'm not doing anything wrong. In fact, they gave me great reviews and seemed to enjoy booking with me. I know it's out of my control. Most parents can't afford to continue paying exorbitant amounts of money for their children to have a private tutor, and now that everyone is home due to being on lockdown, the teacher:student ratio is really not in my favour. It's so depressing. I was receiving new students every day, sometimes even 5 students a day! back in Jan. and Feb. Beginning of March came and then it dwindled down to a pathetic amount. In fact, I have not received a new student since 14 March, I believe.
Usually, I'm not so saddened by this, but every once and a while, it really brings me down. I'll recover, of course. I allow myself to feel sad for a day or two when things are not going the way I'd like them to, but after a point, I just accept it and move on. Currently, the walls of all my misfortunes feel like they're crashing into me all at once. It can be hard not to entertain pessimism when this happens. It happens maybe 2-3 times a year, when I get overwhelmed by all the horrors of the world when I'm already feeling down about something. I've just got to keep moving. At least I'm staying physically fit? Haha.
It's really depressing. I'm not doing anything wrong. In fact, they gave me great reviews and seemed to enjoy booking with me. I know it's out of my control. Most parents can't afford to continue paying exorbitant amounts of money for their children to have a private tutor, and now that everyone is home due to being on lockdown, the teacher:student ratio is really not in my favour. It's so depressing. I was receiving new students every day, sometimes even 5 students a day! back in Jan. and Feb. Beginning of March came and then it dwindled down to a pathetic amount. In fact, I have not received a new student since 14 March, I believe.
Usually, I'm not so saddened by this, but every once and a while, it really brings me down. I'll recover, of course. I allow myself to feel sad for a day or two when things are not going the way I'd like them to, but after a point, I just accept it and move on. Currently, the walls of all my misfortunes feel like they're crashing into me all at once. It can be hard not to entertain pessimism when this happens. It happens maybe 2-3 times a year, when I get overwhelmed by all the horrors of the world when I'm already feeling down about something. I've just got to keep moving. At least I'm staying physically fit? Haha.
31-35, T
