I Really, Really Need a Hug

My Secret/ Why I Am Ashamed, Embarassed, And Very Depressed...

I wrote my story else where and will just copy it:
I have a secret (I am 17 and am not going to lie ahead of time my grammar is bad), anyways so things have just changed a lot over time. About a year ago I transfered from Westview to Abraxas, which is a continuation school to help me get back on track to graduate. Well I am doing good in school, but the about 8 friends I had I did not keep in touch with, and I started withdrawing I don't know why and now I just do not talk to anyone and cannot start a conversation. Ok so about 3-4 months ago my mood because of this started going way south and I was getting depressed and with each week it would get worse and worse, and I really liked someone a lot and I am very emotional and let the emotions get the best of me, I started kind of harassing her I guess you could say by going to her myspace page and I would talk about the mood I am in and why, and it freaked her out. She told me from myspace to leave her alone and as much as I really have tried I have not completly. I tried to apologize to her after I got out of hospital and urgent care because I failed a suicide attempt by overdosing well I tried but once she saw me in front of her she lifted her head rolled her eyes and walked past me, I told her on myspace what I tried to do but rightfully she I think can't forgive me for what I did before. I am still depressed and I cannot deal with this shit anymore, I am not sure but I bet if I could get my hand on a gun I would know what I would do to it. I have no place in this world imo, have no reason to live, and do not deserve to live for what I have done. Comments appreciated and join my circle or however you get friends on here thanks.

solitarysoul

my daughter is your age and as tried the commit suicide twice. The second time was November 2, 2009. She is so hard on herself and cannot see that she sees the wrong picture of herself. She pulls away and tries to do things on her own. I am still reeling from the second try. It is not the answer. I know it is hard to deal with life at your age. I try to tell her that in a few years some of her problems won't be there anymore. She was been bullied so badly and it is hard to understand those people dont count or their opinions. Some of her friends got weird with her as well as lots of adults. She is seeing a counsellor to try and help. Don't do this alone. try not to shut yourself away. you deserve better. if you want to talk to me i will listen. sometimes you just need someone to listen. I can't give you a lot of advice but I can listen and I can care. You are much too young and to valuable to this world to leave it. It will get better..Please dont give up hope

Cici88

I don't think what you did was all that wrong .. i mean ok, you did go a bit far with the myspace thing, but reading about why you did it, it makes sense. I can totally understand the thing about moving and not keeping in touch with your friends ... i've moved 5 times and don't have any friends from the places i've been, it's probably my fault.
I'm glad you found EP, it's much easier to talk on here than in Real Life. And i've found that after a while what we learn on here transfers itself into real life. I hope you continue to get better hon (:
*Hugs*

mynewhate · 31-35, M

apparently she didn't know what mooning was, and I had to tell her, hah. * flashes everyone that has produced comment on story but Edie*