I Like Being Single

@pone22 I have lasted about 7 months before I became fed up with all the stuff he was doing but it wasn't until after I broke up with him that I realized how toxic the relationship was...but I'm getting way ahead of myself.

There were times when the guy would make certain promises only to break them later. Simple things like "We're going to watch a film tonight" or something of that nature only to be stuck waiting for him while he's passed out his parent's couch high and sleeping. Its not that I look down on weed smokers, but it was getting to the point where he was more interested in weed than he was me. It sounds small, but it would add up and annoy me, even after I talked to him about it.

There were times when he would say really rude things to me and other people and then blame his father's cancer later on. Which leads to another issue...

He always went on about how he was so stressed about his father's cancer and how much he cared about and loved his father. He would even try guilt trip me into marrying him early, his reasoning being that he wanted his father to see our wedding. Not only that, but his father would give him money to buy things like books (he claimed to be a avid reader like me), only to spend that same money on weed that was sold to him by this punk kid who was shady anyway (against his father's wishes who didn't want him smoking weed).

Now this kid he was buying weed from was a bit of a smartass, I honestly don't know why J (my bf) was hanging out with him. Jordan (the weed dealer) would come over and hang with Jacob and at one point Jordan asks J to basically trick me. Jordan wanted J to ask me to strip for him on Skype while Jordan was in the room, but obviously out of camera site so they could both see me naked. J told him no, but still continued to hang with him. Another time when Jordan was over, J got so mad at him over a necklace that he pulled a knife out and threatened him. Not you would think that if someone made you that angry, you'd stop hanging with them, right? J kept hanging with this dude.

The knife incident + the fact that I witnessed him go for him mother's throat to choke her were huge red flags. But the distance between us made it seem less harmful than it was...I was stupid.

Okay, when I was in the process of breaking up with him, several things happened: 1. He got really really desperate and it only drove me away. 2. He indirectly called me a gold digger (which really hurt because I never asked him for a thing) 3. I called his bluff...without actually calling his bluff on purpose. Let me explain...during an argument one day, he tells me "If we broke up, it would be YOUR loss", even when he said it I denied it, its not that I didn't think he meant it (he was that arrogant) but I didn't care about him enough to feel that way. I've never been the type to cling to a boy or even feel like I needed a relationship...later on I found out those were all HIS insecurities and the only reason he said that was to scare me into staying (he admitted this when I told him I wanted to break up) and when he found out I didn't fall for it, he got really desperate. After I broke up with him he would cry and write me these really long apology letters that only made me dislike him more. When he cried, it was like a toddler throwing a tantrum. I'm not even saying that to be a bitch...that's exactly the way it looked...sobbing, hitting tables, running nose, and even screaming and yelling. I have never seen a man act like that and I hope I never have to again.

This isn't even the whole story, but that's because its so long and bizarre and unpleasant, I'd rather wait til PMs to tell you some of the other incidents.

I'm just typing out most of this right now and will probably post it to a relevant group...mainly because I want to warn people about relationships like this.

maybe if you werent suffocating them with your breasts :p haha. (inside joke from an other thread you made) The issue often time with relationships is that the foundations of them are very iffy. More so, many others dont accept what it applies and therefore arent mature enough for it. Im not saying thats your case, just that its what happens 90% of the time. When all these conditions are met then it may not work just cause some people arent made for each other. Flirting is fun tho :)

As a world-recognized expert on creating stress, I feel especially qualified to comment on this story. :/

I like @lordwaralied's response, at least after the part about using her breasts to suffocate...WUT? :) The part I like is that most relationships have iffy foundations. I think it is really true, and most of what goes into relationships is just sex, energy, personality, vibe, etc. Very few people actually learn to communicate or even have a clue just how difficult real communication is. The ones who should be smart enough to understand it just get stressed out trying to achieve it and quickly give up.

I have my own weird theories about what makes people compatible for longer term relationships, but I don't want to stress you out. :)

@sunchild777 where were the stresses in your last relationship?

@sunchild777, so boyfriend was not grade A beef. You figured that out on your own and dropped him. I think all is okay there.

The boyfriend was a weak person emotionally, but worse than that he had a violent streak that was potentially quite dangerous (you should never pull a knife on someone who pisses you off, EVER). He had self-control problems tied to drugs. He had self-pity issues.

I would say don't let your own thoughts and emotions get tied up in losing such a relationship. Life with him would have been a progressively worse and worse nightmare. Let that be some other girl's future, not yours.

I know just how you feel.. been single now for a few years and I don't mind it ... I'm free to do what I want when I want with who I want xxx