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I Want More People to Comment On My Stories

Preferably an English teacher or somebody who has read or listened to many classic books. For example: A tremor of desire tingled down her body as he was compelled to kiss her feet.
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JohnnySpot · 56-60, M
He examined his conscience and knew his intention was blameless.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@JohnnySpot By the way, when can I expect my first promotion?
JohnnySpot · 56-60, M
It may be nine months after the first taxing demand.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@JohnnySpot Is that guaranteed? Can we put that in writing and have that go to my word count quota?
JohnnySpot · 56-60, M
The publishers are working furiously to present a separate volume.