I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Whenever I read about it, I'm like that's me and all my problems but no' I've never been diagnosed. Once, I was started to be treated for bi-polar as I have a family history on both sides but I've never experienced an ounce of mania. So, where does the bi POLAR come in? Anyways, my biggest thing is feeling unloveable and feeling too clingy in relationships and hating myself yet feeling out of control of in the moment. This one was patient and too good to be true, until he wasn't. It took two months for him to get sick of me. Now, not only does he want to be instant friends, he wants to come over this weekend to bring me my things, help me put up a chalkboard he made for my daughter as a gift and hopes we stay friends. whoooo the faqqq has a heart that can change gears this fast? This just happened a few days ago so I feel especially unwell and being the people pleaser that I am, I agreed to his plans for a short visit and "helping" me put the board up...but comparing myself to everyone else I know.... I am the most sensitive person alive and a visit like this might wreck a whole week of tying up the end of my semester in school. I just want someone to give me permission to block this guy. Everyone makes fun of me for blocking exes but it helps me move past the awkward transition period and potential leading on that comes with the everyday chatting that I'm on the receiving end of now. Every text from him sends me into a flurry of panic of "how do I respond" ...too soon? too eager? ignore? faq, being myself didn't work. there's manuals out there for being more attractive to others like .."not needing" which is the opposite of my existence therefore creates a pressure valve of false pretense until it implodes.