I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

I shattered into a million tiny pieces when I was given the diagnosis of BPD... In fact, I ran from it and got myself in all sorts of mess. I couldn't bear the thought of that label. In the last few years I've barely coped (quite badly at times), but I've made it. However, recently, things have been getting hard again. I don't talk to anyone. I don't have anyone I can trust.
I've literally just somehow managed to find a lovely group of friends... and now desert them and hate them as much as I loved them. I thought I was better. I thought I got past everything. But BPD has reared it's head once more.
I feel like others on here have said it more eloquently, but I'm literally at the point where I am so tired and I kind of don't care. Chances are no one else cares either anyways.
I think the thing that brought me back to here, is that I don't have anyone (except the psych who diagnosed me and counsellors) that knows what I go through on a day to day basis. My mask is sooo damn good. I am so good at hiding the scars and the cracks. My mask can be impeccable at times.
In the last few days I've heard various people working in the healthcare setting call BPD the "shit life syndrome". I hate it, but I can see why people who haven't ever experienced anything like it see it that way.
Do you agree? It's all simplified and reduced to just "having a bit of a shit upbringing/childhood"... oh... is that what you call abuse now-a-days? Cool cool. It trivialises the traumatic things that others have actually been through. It makes me angry... Or is that my BPD again? I can't stop losing my temper. Everything pisses me off and I just want to yell and shout at people and hate them. I want my words to be sharp as knives... But I also don't. I just want to run away to a cave and never see people ever again...