Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

How can I make my wife feel better ?

My wife was watching a show about a girl who was bitten by a shark at the beach she's always been terrified of sharks ever since she watched Jaws. She would not survive a shark attack because she gets scared so easily she can't stand sharp pains like needles so she wouldn't be able to handle a shark she wouldn't know what to do she'd probably end up having a heart attack and dying. She couldn't do it this is why she's scared to go to the ocean we also have an almost 2 year old son she's scared for him too. She wants to get over her fear so she can surf she's always dreamt of being a surfer but because of her mental disabilities and heat problems she's worried she can't do it also she's already almost 30 so she thinks she's too old to start surfing. Her cousin is obsessed with sharks she loves them she doesn't get why she likes something that can attack or kill you. How can I help her get over this fear ?

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

2cool4school · 46-50, F

I grew up with in the “red triangle” and I started surfing at 12 because I hated body boarding and being in the water not on it. I used to feel stress once I learned to surf because of the kelp in places I was sitting and waiting for sets. I seemed to be the only one that was afraid despite 60-100+ sometimes. I just felt like others didn’t worry and I did.
I think the best way to think about it is statistically. You both have a greater chance of winning the lottery and getting struck by lightning on the same day. Much more likely to be struck by lightning or a falling coconut. I worked for a surf company and I often fielded shark questions from the people we worked with. But I also found some relief in talking to professionals and heavy locals who surf daily and have never seen a shark in their lives. I don’t think watching them on TV will help possibly only hurt because of the style of the shows. Humans have many natural fears built in for survival of the species. Think heights etc. So just understand that it’s natural however it’s just not something that is likely to happen even if you use the ocean daily. They are always trying to improve the technology to repel them as well. Anything from scents to electricity. But it’s just not something that happens often that’s why it’s such a media frenzy when it does. I hope you find a way to neutralize your fears because the ocean is pretty fun when you’re ready and relaxed or at least not on pins and needles waiting for something that likely will never happen.

midnightrose · F

Exposure is usually the best way to get over fears. She has to face them. Start small. How close to the water can she get? If she can't get in the water just start by getting near the water and work your way into the water. Stay in the shallow water then eventually go into deeper water.

Consider working with a professional who specializes in phobias as their advice would be better than mine.

It also might be helpful to read stories of people who survived shark attacks and had good outcomes so she will have an idea of what she can do on the rare chance she encounters a shark. We have to remember that just because we think something doesn't mean that thought is true.

She may think she wouldn't be able to survive but when we are trying to stay alive we become capable of more than we ever thought possible. I read a person's experience and it wasn't his strength that helped him survive. He had to think his way through it. He had to have emotional intelligence. Anybody can learn to have that.