@RoyX54: I was just trying to be helpful. It sounds like you are struggling with this and looking for a solution. I understand your reservations about seeing a therapist in a small town, because of the stigma attached to it. I know a lot of clients come to me from different small towns in the area for that very reason. They do not want anyone judging them or thinking they are crazy. as for finding a therapist, you can google therapists in your area. Psychology Today is a website where many therapists advertise their services.
As for EMDR, I can understand your reservations. It is not hypnotic at all. It is a way of remembering past trauma and events in a safe controlled environment. In fact you establish safeguards with your therapist and you will be screened to see if you are even a good candidate for the therapy. If you do decide to look into it, it is best to use a therapist that has gone through an EMDRIA approved training regimen or in best case scenario is EMDRIA certified, or on the way to certification and can prove it. Do your research.
I have been trained and it is highly effective, although different therapy modalities do not work for everyone. As for your concern about hypnosis--the client is never hypnotized. There are different ways to administer the bilateral stimulation. The therapist can use a light bar, tapping, a type of handheld buzzer. The eye movement refers to the same eye movement that your body naturally does in REM sleep to process events and things that have happened in your normal day to day life. The client is always awake, talking, and in complete control. If you are interested is seeing what this might look like YouTube it and see what an actual session looks like.
