I Sometimes Want to Just Give Up
How many mornings do I wake up saying to myself that this is the day that everything will change and nothing happens. How many moments do I have to change my life and nothing changes.
No matter where I go. There I am. It doesn't matter if I have a positive attitude. It doesn't matter that I have an amazing job. No matter what I'm stuck in this cage.
This cage of constant stress and pressure. Of being "stuck". I live a painfully boring life. Once I lived a wild life that almost killed me. No matter what I do, no matter what road I take i'm not happy.
When I walked the crazy hellbent freedom partying road it almost killled me. When I now walk the straight and narrow road, i'm beyond bored out of my mind.
I have tried everything to be happy. I've tried killing myself, I've shifted into having a positive attitude, I've had loving relationships. I've taken bipolar medication, I tried meditating. I have tried everything and nothing works. It's like I can't handle my own existence.
No matter where I go. There I am. It doesn't matter if I have a positive attitude. It doesn't matter that I have an amazing job. No matter what I'm stuck in this cage.
This cage of constant stress and pressure. Of being "stuck". I live a painfully boring life. Once I lived a wild life that almost killed me. No matter what I do, no matter what road I take i'm not happy.
When I walked the crazy hellbent freedom partying road it almost killled me. When I now walk the straight and narrow road, i'm beyond bored out of my mind.
I have tried everything to be happy. I've tried killing myself, I've shifted into having a positive attitude, I've had loving relationships. I've taken bipolar medication, I tried meditating. I have tried everything and nothing works. It's like I can't handle my own existence.
