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I Struggle With Mental Illness

I am so tired of being this way.
Tired of hiding how I am really feeling on the inside and putting on a smile on the outside all the time and faking happiness. Sometimes I just want to let it all out and I don't even know how.

Thought I would try calling a mental health hotline today because I couldn't go in and see my therapist and let her know I am not doing so good, and the women on the hotline was useless.. just kept telling me to take my medication.. hmm yeah like I never already thought of that.

Cant tell my boyfriend, family or friends because they will overreact and it will just stress me out and I would just start overacting trying to convince them I am good.

I wish there was a way I could get these memories and feelings out of my head..

I know this probably makes no sense but I am just typing to get it out of my head

I just wish I wasn't me
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Friendship0nlyPlease · 31-35, F
Very relatable. Here if you want to talk about anything
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
Friendship0nlyPlease · 31-35, F
@PlumBerries youre welcome 😊
Doomflower · 41-45, M
It makes perfect sense. Sorry you're having a hard time.

Lately I have taken to reciting the litany against fear when I threaten to be overwhelmed. It isn't a cure but it helps.
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
@Doomflower thanks, I am glad you found something that helps ease the overwhelmed feelings you get
SW-User
Oh Plum I'm sorry. That does make sense. Big hugs
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
thank you so much. I don't really like talking about it much. I wrote this now and hopefully soon I will go back to being cheerful. thank you though that means a lot to me
SW-User
@PlumBerries anytime Plum. You're a good person. Remember that above anything else.
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
thank you :)
ArianaRose25 · 31-35
I have several of them. What do you have? maybe I can help. If you prefer, you can pm me. Sorry this is happening to you.
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
@ArianaRose25 social anxiety disorder, depression and ptsd.. thank you
SW-User
Just know, that you're not alone. I deal with a mental illness and it is so tough some days! Just hang in there! I'm here if you need a friend!🤗🌼
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
@SW-User thank you, I hope you are doing okay 🤗
SW-User
@PlumBerries I'm doing good right now. I am on meds that I take daily and nightly. I'm pretty well even emotionally and physically. ☺💖
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
Acknowledging this is normal at times and sending you big hugs.
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
@Fungirlmmm yeah and thank you 🤗
SW-User
Just for today Plum. Tomorrow may be different. We always have hope xx
JavaJoe · 51-55, M
Knowing you as I do.... and seeing who you are - I never would have seen this coming! It puzzles me why some who “seem” to have such a good hand dealt to them - looks, love, job, success, etc... - can feel down. Obviously, I’m presuming depression, maybe I shouldn’t be? I hope you can get the memories out of your head too, because from what I see - your best years are still ahead. ;)
BalmyNites · F
Much love to you, hun 💜
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
@BalmyNites thank you :)
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M
Ah I know it gets bad.

If you ever wanna unload or talk I lived with severe depression and bad anxiety for 10 years.
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
@Ryannnnnn thanks, I hope you are doing okay
Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M
@PlumBerries Finally on the other side of it now for real.
Same to you, chin up chuck

*hugs*
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
that's good to hear. maybe one day I will join you on that side
SW-User
snofan · M
It makes sense. Make time for you. When you can, do things that you love. Put yourself at the top of your list.
You will be okay.
SW-User
Same. Im so sorry for you. It’s miserable. X
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
@SW-User same for you? if so I am sorry to hear that
SW-User
Yes. Thank you 💜 I don’t tell anyone even because no one cares. No one even understands. I get the hotline dumbass too. My therapist and “family “ suggest similar idiocy. They tell you stuff like suffering emotionally makes you stupid and you aren’t smart enough to know to do that. 🤗 @PlumBerries
This message was deleted by its author.
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
I hate hearing you had to go through all that though. thankfully you are ok and even more so you have a wonderful husband.

ehh I don't ever really vent. I cope with it all by acting like it all never happened and often at times I get flooded with negative feelings and cant act anymore and need a rest from it and I go on repeating that.. I don't like people worrying about me that in itself stresses me out. so acting happy all the time is the closest I got to venting in a weird way
TexChik · F
@PlumBerries I am always here for you if you decide you need to vent to someone who’s been through it ... 😉
PlumBerries · 31-35, F
thank you, that means a lot to me :)
I might take you up on that

 
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