I Feel Unlovable and Worthless

that's how it seems to me. I try to reach out and connect with others, but it just seems that I am not as important or as deserving as the rest. I have tried to fit in and have the things that others take for granted. But it always seems that i can't reach it. I am always like that bum on the street looking through the window longing for what he sees but knows that he isn't part of that world. No matter what i do it's never enough. Most of the time i don't even think I get a second thought from those that are around me. i try to make friends but it feels like I am just getting brushed off, or at best just being humored for a bit.

more and more I feel myself detaching and even when I want to accomplish something for myself it is getting harder. I will sit and think about what needs done and what I should do, but it's like I can't force myself to do it. part of me is saying to go do it, and the other is saying "why bother, it doesn't matter" i hate feeling like that, but i just feel so burned out and tired. even when i can make myself work at what needs done it seems like everyone and everything that can go against me does. i have had these feelings many times before, it just seems that each time they return they are stronger and are harder to get back from.