I Know the Difference Between Lust and Love

I wish that I could see all men the same way that God see's them, and not as some hottie whom think is hot! And fantasize what it would be like to hold them and kiss them and show affection towards them. Romantically. I wish that I could truly see them as brothers in Christ no matter what they look like be it good looking or unattractive. I wish that I didn't stare and let them into my eyes like an exotic drink.....I wish that I was always strong and that it didn't happen eventually. I wish that my love for them strictly was pure now and always....I wish that when I came into the light for all to see, that it would be seen that I truly and always was innocent in the sight of God. But I am only human, Jesus said if you look upon a woman with desire for her in your heart you have already committed adultry with her in your heart.....I commit adultry in my heart often, I am like the pharisies who look pure and holy on the outside for I may even talk the talk and walk the walk, but on the inside I imagine what it would be like to snuggle and cuddle with them romantically and sometimes even commit adultry in my mind...Which is why I had my schizophrenic relapse the last time, did I learn my lesson, Yes, and NOOOOO. In the sight of God I am still a sinner. Heres to cleansing myself out from within once again from the inside out, may I not stare at another mans beauty, may I not fantasize about what it would be like to hold him or kiss him again....Lord I fear you and I love you please give me another chance.