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I Live In Lancashire

It's almost like having a second language and nationality that I don't use online because it wouldn't be totally understood. For instance:

It's been cracking flags all week and it's proper done my shed. I were at a do with nowt but butties like as them from a totter's wake. I just watted teeming a corporation pop, I were spitting feathers that bad. I weren't rarely spaking to none a them so I necked it down ginnel, got in and put sneck on. Turned box on an all, but there were some right owd toss on which were mithering me no end. Hundred buttons but it's all bobbins turned out for tuppence ha'penny. Either way, I were right flummoxed so I came on tinternet but half a time that's brock too!
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TJNewton · M
Ear all, see all, say nowt. Eat all, sup all, pay nowt. And if ever thou does owt fer nowt – allus do it fer thissen thats my accent should i decide to use it and for any american reading this ill translate for you

This is the Yorkshireman’s motto and translates as follows: “Hear all, see all, say nothing. Eat all, drink all, pay nothing. And if you ever do anything for nothing—always do it for yourself.” It doesn’t reflect too kindly, does it?