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I Live In Lancashire

It's almost like having a second language and nationality that I don't use online because it wouldn't be totally understood. For instance:

It's been cracking flags all week and it's proper done my shed. I were at a do with nowt but butties like as them from a totter's wake. I just watted teeming a corporation pop, I were spitting feathers that bad. I weren't rarely spaking to none a them so I necked it down ginnel, got in and put sneck on. Turned box on an all, but there were some right owd toss on which were mithering me no end. Hundred buttons but it's all bobbins turned out for tuppence ha'penny. Either way, I were right flummoxed so I came on tinternet but half a time that's brock too!
GlassDog · 41-45, M
Translation: It's been so hot that the pavement is breaking up and cracking under the heat, and this has messed with my head. I went to a get together but all the sandwiches had curled up and gone hard under the heat and looked like those served at the funeral of a rag and bone man. I was so thirsty and my mouth was so dry, I felt like I was spitting feathers, and I wanted someone to pour me a glass of water. I wasn't really involved in conversation with many people so I nipped down an alleyway home and locked the door. There was nothing on TV so I posted a story here, although my internet connection is a bit dubious these days.
SW-User
So you were laying flagstone in your shed/house and it's finished and looks nice, and you went to a ..party? where they only served chip butties?... then you lost me completely spitting feathers = angry? ...Turned the tv on but there wasn't anything good on. or there was something wrong with it and you couldn't figure out what in the heck was wrong with it AHH .. so you got online to look it up, but that doesn't work most of the time either? Hmm... I need a translation!
Haha that's awesome🇬🇧 I only understand about half but still love it!
SW-User
Right monkey!!!🐒
SW-User
@Glassdog... wow I did a spectacularly awful job at figuring that out... I thought you were laying tile in your house. haha That was fun. You should give us another to figure out. That was pretty entertaining! AND we might learn something!
GlassDog · 41-45, M
@JaggedLittlePill Quite similar. I'm in the north of England too, but I'm a Mancunian rather than a Geordie. I do visit Geordieland now and again, though!
GlassDog · 41-45, M
@JarJar Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire? It's a great county. It's where the Beatles are from, and Manchester United, and Karl Pilkington.
That's fun to read. :) I would be lost in your circle, for a little while.
GlassDog · 41-45, M
@lovelywarpedlemon Haha! I was laying it on bit thick. Those words only come out now and again, rather than all together in one passage! Although I do say "summat" a lot instead of "something".
@GlassDog ahahah Where are you??
GlassDog · 41-45, M
@lovelywarpedlemon I'm from Manchester. We have strange accents and strange words and we like it that way! :)
SW-User
Words I understood:
- Shed
- corporation
- feathers
- buttons
- flummoxed

No idea what you're going on about lah! 🤔
GlassDog · 41-45, M
@Lazarus You would, yeah. We're neighbours! Put wood in th'ole, will thee, lad?
JarJarBoom · 41-45, F
The only time I heard the name "Lancashire" is from a Beatles song....
SW-User
Cheers Mate .. My mum and dad where British so I am hip to your jive.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
😄 I don't know what that means but hope you had fun anyway.
KellyBear · 41-45, F
For someone who isn't English....no I don't understand lol
GlassDog · 41-45, M
@Callme Half is pretty good, to be honest! :)
Rootstoblossom · 46-50, F
Hmmm, you lost me at cracking...
KellyBear · 41-45, F
Thanks Glassdog, now I do 😁
I love it! 🤓 I'm such a nerd!
Twoinmanc · 51-55, M
TJNewton · M
Ear all, see all, say nowt. Eat all, sup all, pay nowt. And if ever thou does owt fer nowt – allus do it fer thissen thats my accent should i decide to use it and for any american reading this ill translate for you

This is the Yorkshireman’s motto and translates as follows: “Hear all, see all, say nothing. Eat all, drink all, pay nothing. And if you ever do anything for nothing—always do it for yourself.” It doesn’t reflect too kindly, does it?
GlassDog · 41-45, M
@Luna: Aha! Did they both have accents?
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
Wait. . Is this similar to a Georidie?! I have a Geordie friend..he types a little to me now and then and I "decode" it LOL
TJNewton · M
Gd i understand mancunians perfectly :)
TJNewton · M
Eee by gum On Ilkla Moor Baht’at :)

 
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