I Was Abused When I Was A Kid

My sister and I were talking about something from our childhood when things started to get a little dark for my taste. Looking back, I never realized that what happened to us was abuse. I always thought it was normal; to be cussed at, degraded, and physically hurt by our own parent. It really wasn't until I told a friend about this and got "Why are you laughing? That's not normal at all" as a reply that I realized everything was all wrong, and that I've been doing everything our dad did to us. I've been hurting the people I love with my words and actions, the same way he did, and never noticed it. Really what made me cry was when my sister told me how she found a father's love in her teacher, because she had to learn it from someone other than our biological father.

It's difficult trying to unlearn all of the bad things I got from my dad. But I'm trying, because I don't want to end up like him, even though I'm already half-way there. It's frustrating when people would tell me to just fix myself already, as if it's something easy. As if I haven't been trying for the past 4 years.