I Was Abused When I Was A Kid

I don't know why. I haven't had the balls to talk about it yet in counseling. He reminded me there's only four more weeks of term left.
I've shared on here, I've been writing poems about it, about how it makes me feel. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. How long this should take. It's been a couple months. And I still can't even swallow at the thought. It blows up in my face three times a day. It's feeding on me. It's been a really long time since I've seriously considered suicide.