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I Want To Go Back To Who I Used To Be

*wants to cry and not stop*
Agoraphobia and depression and anxiety have thwarted me.
I'm 35 and I've been suffering with things for too long.
I'm an isolated loner. I don't have a life worthy of note.
I'm dragging my feet. The spark I used to have seems non existent.
I have a great partner but I am not happy.
I am upset and disgusted almost with myself and my life.

It seems impossible to think positively right now?
I'm seemingly stuck within four walls and hate myself so much.
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ItsAir · 36-40, M
I dealt with agoraphobia for five years. I lost most of my 20s to it. I still deal with depression and anxiety, but after finding things that I wanted that also brought me out of my room helped me. A year ago I moved from my room across the country to be with someone I met on experience project. 5 months later I came back home. I work3d while I lived with her, something I hadn't done in almost 4 years. I came home, and refused to go back to my room. It took 6 months, but my agoraphobia is miles away from where it used to be. I work two jobs, drive myself places, and am on my way to moving out. It's never easy. Setbacks always come. But you will find something that will get you out of those four walls. A person. A goal. Anything. And after that, you'll notice how much better the anxiety and depression get. They don't go away, it's always a battle, but even if you can't beat them, you can function with them as much as you want to. I wish you luck on top of luck, looking back to a year ago I'd have never thought I'd be where I am, and I hope you can experience that feeling soon.
Isthisit · F
@ItsAir wow. Thankyou so much. I really struggle. I've been feeling like giving up lately.
ItsAir · 36-40, M
Trust me, I know that feeling so well. It comes and goes still sometimes. I would have never guessed it be where I'm at now, with what I was feeling then. It controlled my life. There was no escaping it. But that was a lie. You can do it. Just don't rush it and don't let setbacks discourage you. I did It, despite the odds.