Bullying is wrong. But isn't raising weak kids wrong too?

Bullying or not bullying has nothing to do with raising "weak" or "strong" kids.

The emotional strength to stand up to bullies has nothing to do with toughness, or being able to withstand abuse. Such a concept would be flawed because bullies will simply up the level of abuse and co-opt others to do the same, until the level of force could crush anyone.

Parents need to raise kids to have realistic levels of confidence, to be comfortable and accepting of difference in themselves and others, and to have emotional intelligence and good relationship and communication skills. Bullies steer themselves away from people with these qualities.

Teaching the right way to relate starts from the very beginning with role modelling. There are lots of good books on parenting which give well researched advice on how to live this way.

Respect is not about fear. It is about recognising and being sensitive to boundaries in oneself and others. It is about valuing the rights, needs, and feelings of others as much as our own.

Solving the problem of bullying should never be -- and at a practical level cannot be -- the child's job. A child is immature and lacks the skills. It is parents' and adults' duty to protect them. Failure to do that can lead to early suicides, or life long term social and psychological scars.

It's the adults' job to ensure that they do not teach children how to bully via a bullying style of parenting, and to act as a community to put an end to it among kids in neighbourhoods, schools, summer camps, sport etc.

The strong don't bully

I was made to let bullies beat on me when I was a kid ,
Mom was overweight so kids talked crap about her ,I beat then up .
So Dad gets called to the school I get paddled but when I got home ,Dad was fired up ,so his solution was I want to fight ,I could fight him and my Dad was all man ,He would make me load up and we would go to the kids house and my Dad would tell the other kids Dad that his kid better keep his hands to himself or else he was coming back ,and if he did the adults would be the ones with the problem .
The next day is the same kid and all his buddies playing kick the can and I am the can and all I do is block punch's and say over and over "You heard my Dad I'm going to get beat if I fight you ,so I was now the punching bag ,not just one ,4 or 5 boy and sometimes girls kicking the crap out of me and all I do is take it .
Dad was like now wasn't that a better way to handle that "Wait a minute ,Did someone hit you ?" Load Up !!! all the while I am begging NO DAD you are going to make it worse .
Dad opens the door and my Dad knocks him out cold ,then tells his wife to tell him "I meant what I said ".So I just became a waking target .
It Always made it worse .So I only fought to defend others but never for myself ,but I got real good at taking punch's not being afraid ,,only one guy could actually fight and he hit like a train so I got good at blocking most of his punch's ,,even put him on his butt a few time just to show I could ,but we never really fought ,but you could see in his eyes he knew he was on borrowed time after that ,he would get up still talking crap but was wondering was today I made them pay ,but i'd walk away
But June 5th ,1976 I came home from boot camp ,10 days until I had to report to my first duty station ,and my brothers come in ,black eyes ,busted lips and say a bunch of boys jumped them at the park ,So I jump up and Dad says "What have I told you ?"
You said when I am old enough and ugly enough and have my own home that I can do as I please ,well Dad I have not lived here a long time ,and I am ugly as hell ,,so I am going to kick some ass ,Dad said "Let me get my shirt ,I'm going with you and my Dad and I kicked the crap out of 20 guys ,the local cops and sheriffs were begging me to stop punching people and kicking them in the face ,,,
So did I want that for my kids ,,Not for one second ,,
So here are their options
You report you have been bullied ,,bus driver ,teacher ,resource officer
if it continues I go see the Principle ,and I warn him or her
My kids come to school for an education and I do not allow them to fight ,
But I have taught them how to defend themselves ,you take care of this or
I will let them ,and if you know my girls ,you know they can handle themselves .
Then if it happens again ,they can deal with it on the spot and I better not get a call my kids are in trouble ,
I made one trip to the school board and they agreed my kids were not to be suspended for just defending themselves and the school paid for my Daughters jacket to be dry cleaned where she was spit on .
Problem solved ,no one wanted to take on my girls again
When they are in the right ,I want them to stick up for themselves and they know how ,,but fighting is the last option ,not the first
My kids will never be walking targets ,but they are not bullies either
The school board also suspended the girls who jumped on my girls ,and it was on the bus too ,so they got kicked off the bus for endangering other students .
Their parent were the ones who actually paid for the dry cleaning and they agreed my kids handled it the right way .

Weak is relative. Everyone is weak in some way or other. There's no justification for bullying.

Bullying doesn't make kids strong.

What's wrong is hurting others (mainly to make yourself feel strong). My future kids would learn taekwondo to avoid bully situations

it's the insecure ones that turn out to be bullies in the first place, why else would you need to make others feel small if not to build yourself up.

rape is wrong. but isn't wearing skirts wrong too?
FUCKING RETARDED LOGIC.
you can't possibly justify a bad behaviour just because of something else!!!!

If someone bullies you, you have a right to stick up for yourself. If I had kids I'd tell them to they should never take crap from another kid pushing them around.

I feel like we kind of need it. Teach kids to stand up for themselves.

These days? Too many crazy kids out there.

Oh why don't you tell us all about it.

What do you consider weak ? Think they should all be gangsters ? Is [b]that[/b] tough enough ?