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Bullying or not bullying has nothing to do with raising "weak" or "strong" kids.
The emotional strength to stand up to bullies has nothing to do with toughness, or being able to withstand abuse. Such a concept would be flawed because bullies will simply up the level of abuse and co-opt others to do the same, until the level of force could crush anyone.
Parents need to raise kids to have realistic levels of confidence, to be comfortable and accepting of difference in themselves and others, and to have emotional intelligence and good relationship and communication skills. Bullies steer themselves away from people with these qualities.
Teaching the right way to relate starts from the very beginning with role modelling. There are lots of good books on parenting which give well researched advice on how to live this way.
Respect is not about fear. It is about recognising and being sensitive to boundaries in oneself and others. It is about valuing the rights, needs, and feelings of others as much as our own.
Solving the problem of bullying should never be -- and at a practical level cannot be -- the child's job. A child is immature and lacks the skills. It is parents' and adults' duty to protect them. Failure to do that can lead to early suicides, or life long term social and psychological scars.
It's the adults' job to ensure that they do not teach children how to bully via a bullying style of parenting, and to act as a community to put an end to it among kids in neighbourhoods, schools, summer camps, sport etc.
The emotional strength to stand up to bullies has nothing to do with toughness, or being able to withstand abuse. Such a concept would be flawed because bullies will simply up the level of abuse and co-opt others to do the same, until the level of force could crush anyone.
Parents need to raise kids to have realistic levels of confidence, to be comfortable and accepting of difference in themselves and others, and to have emotional intelligence and good relationship and communication skills. Bullies steer themselves away from people with these qualities.
Teaching the right way to relate starts from the very beginning with role modelling. There are lots of good books on parenting which give well researched advice on how to live this way.
Respect is not about fear. It is about recognising and being sensitive to boundaries in oneself and others. It is about valuing the rights, needs, and feelings of others as much as our own.
Solving the problem of bullying should never be -- and at a practical level cannot be -- the child's job. A child is immature and lacks the skills. It is parents' and adults' duty to protect them. Failure to do that can lead to early suicides, or life long term social and psychological scars.
It's the adults' job to ensure that they do not teach children how to bully via a bullying style of parenting, and to act as a community to put an end to it among kids in neighbourhoods, schools, summer camps, sport etc.
