I Listen To Sad Music, Even Though It Just Makes Me Sadder

I have a “Sad Rock” in the center of my chest. I’m feeling sad and it’s like a small stone between my lungs. I don’t know why I feel this way. I randomly woke up before 4am because of it and havnt been able to sleep since. The sadness is keeping me awake. Keeping me vibrant. It’s a sadness that has an intense “longing” pull. Not sure what it could be. I tried comforting myself with other thoughts but I sense the joy bouncing off my “Sad Rock”, simply knicking the sides of the Stone. What am I longing for? What have I loss? Could it be another’s tears I’m sensing? I want to feel okay. I want to feel the warmth of love. I want to see sunshine and hear laughter. I want sleep and to feel courageous and like I’m living something special others can’t have. I want to feel like I’m flying. I want a chance a real chance to fly again.