And I don't know how to get it back.

I became a mother, whilst unexpected and not wanted initially, it's wonderful. I've honestly never felt a love like it.

But, in all this.... I've become Mama or Mummy and I've lost me.

I took a myers Brigg personality test and even though consistently always had the same.... I'm now different. Again consistently.

I also... I have this strange feeling in terms of my sexuality. I was always sexual. I never had high confidence but felt sexy often. Knew people were attracted to me.

But now, I just can't accept that someone might. I'm utterly convinced they won't. And it isn't a body image thing. My body did something amazing and I love my body for it.

I've even tried shaping up and lost a fair bit of weight. But it's still there. It's mental. Not physical.

Being a mother is so unsexual that I just don't think people find me sexy. But I want them to. I want to find me. I want to find my sexuality. I want to learn who I am again.

I just don't know how.