How do you perceive your intimate zone?

What does it mean for you? Have you ever experienced a change in your perception of it?
Do you let people get close to you easily? I don't mean just physically, I mean emotionally too.
How do you perceive the intimate zone of others?
How did/would you deal with sharing a room with a stranger while living at the dorm?

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sumojumo · 36-40, M

This is a very good question. I have a very "secure" intimate zone, meaning that I have no idea if I let anyone close to it. And I have many people that I consider close, such as family and friends. But still there is an even more intimate part, for which I doubt anyone has access to. And I also do not have some dark secrets (I havent killed anyone ;)).

I lived with many different roomates while I was still a student. but I made so sort of a bubble around myself, so it maybe seemed like I was living completely by myself.

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sumojumo · 36-40, M

Interesting, for me it was somewhat different. I lived in various dorms, and I realized that the physical proximity has nothing to do with how close someone is to me. I lived with a guy for four years, we literally slept 30cm apart. But just about anyone on the street could mean much more to me than this guy. And he was not that bad at all, it was just me making a wall in the room :).

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

@sumojumo Oh, no no. That's not how I meant it. Those people didn't mean more to me. I meant that when I was there, I was able to feel more relaxed in their presence. My social anxiety almost disappeared. While when I'm at my own place and spend the most time there alone, I go out and don't feel around people very comfortable. Talking to them is harder. When I spend too much time alone, I'm too much in my own world to connect with the worlds of other people and their problems.

sumojumo · 36-40, M

sorry for the misunderstanding. The social anxiety is a weird thing, yes, and i have to agree that the more you retract yourself from social situation, the worse it gets. But for me it depends on the people. I need someone with whom I connect (I dont even know when does this happen) so that it relieves the anxiety situation.

Fallflower · 46-50, F

I’ve shared a few dorms with strangers, it wasn’t too bad. One year we never really got close and they remained strangers. Other times we became good friends. But I kept my intimate zones to myself during all of those times. My perception of my zones have definitely changed over the years! More acceptance, understanding, confidence.

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

@Fallflower That's great! Confidence is important.

KidAzazel · 26-30

It's difficult for me to let people get emotionally close to me, although I want to. After becoming more disillusioned with how people are, that desire becomes a secondary priority. As for physical closeness, I tend to get kinda nervous about it when first meeting people, but after awhile it's not as much of a problem

SW-User

I don't let anyone come closer to me emotionally.
It makes you weaker and weaker. It's my perception.

I like living in my own comfort zone so I reckon I won't like sharing a room with anyone.

Deadcutie · 18-21, F

I don’t know how to answer

bijouxbroussard · F

I’m pretty guarded, mostly because of negative experiences—like having had a nightmare of a roommate in college.

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

@bijouxbroussard What did she do? (I assume your roommate was a woman. Or wasn't?)

bijouxbroussard · F

@CrazyMusicLover She was, and she was a stranger. She had assumptions: I’m wholly Californian in attitude, even though my parents were southerners, and I’m comfortable with LGBTQ folks, counted many as friends even then. This was also a traditionally black college, and she came from a very old respectable [b]religious[/b] black family (daughter of a Baptist minister—also didn’t like me being Catholic) and my having white friends and [b]relatives[/b] troubled her. She was prepared to see me as “other” and dislike me intensely. The feelings quickly became mutual. 😒

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

@bijouxbroussard Oooh, that is easy to understand. I don't get along with people like this either.

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