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I Push People Away

I think I pushed too many people away. A part of me is regretting it. But I can't seem to get off the thought that all I'm really looking for is someone who'll be able to see that me pushing them away is me wishing they'll show me I mean something enough to stick around still. That I'm worth fighting for.

It's always easy to be there for someone. But when it's me who needs help, I find I don't know who to go to. Or to be more truthful, there's none on the list who can calm whatever storm I have.

Have you ever felt so lonely that all you ever want is a hug and a pat on the head? Just someone who'll sit by you and say, "Just be you. Whatever it is. Whoever it is."

Because while I try to be that for people, it doesn't always end up good. And when I need that from people, well...
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lasergraph · 70-79, M
Maybe you are testing their resolve to see who is still there after you're finished with the pushing. Your trying to find someone worthy of you letting down your shield.