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I Push People Away

I think I pushed too many people away. A part of me is regretting it. But I can't seem to get off the thought that all I'm really looking for is someone who'll be able to see that me pushing them away is me wishing they'll show me I mean something enough to stick around still. That I'm worth fighting for.

It's always easy to be there for someone. But when it's me who needs help, I find I don't know who to go to. Or to be more truthful, there's none on the list who can calm whatever storm I have.

Have you ever felt so lonely that all you ever want is a hug and a pat on the head? Just someone who'll sit by you and say, "Just be you. Whatever it is. Whoever it is."

Because while I try to be that for people, it doesn't always end up good. And when I need that from people, well...

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Livingwell · 61-69, M

I think not settling is a smart thing. A very smart thing. It does at times get lonely.

A best friend, one you can trust, can be just what you need. Without the romantic pressure you can open up and be yourself. But these too are difficult to find.

I wish you luck.

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@Livingwell Thank you :) Pls. pray for me.

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Fernie · F

"someone who'll be able to see that me pushing them away is me wishing they'll show me I mean something enough to stick around still. That I'm worth fighting for." That seems like you're testing people...setting them up to fail you. It's an unhealthy game. Better get seem healthier, more reasonable expectations of others...pat your own head. Help yourself. Stop waiting for others to sooth your ailments or you'll be disappointed for your entire life

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@Fernie Why does that sound sad to me haha?
Anyway, apparently I really can't keep things just to myself. So I patched up things with some people and I'm trying to fix things with the rest so it's better now. :) Thanks for the response.

lasergraph · 70-79, M

Maybe you are testing their resolve to see who is still there after you're finished with the pushing. Your trying to find someone worthy of you letting down your shield.

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

May I suggest you may be pushing them away to prevent them pushing you away?...
I think, once hurt, it's something we all tend to do.. Maybe the answer is neither pushing our pulling... Let gravity work it's magic ..

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ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

@Casheyane I won't, because I don't believe in prayer... But I do believe in you!

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@ozgirl512 Ahh :) Well, thanks for believing in me. HUugs

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

@Casheyane it's a very easy thing to do ...

AFreeThinker81

This made me cry. I feel the same :( 😭

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@AFreeThinker81 There, there

xixgun · M

Some people push others away, so that someone will actually say, "But I want to stay".

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@xixgun Yup. Exactly. But they said that. What I need is to see actions.

xixgun · M

@Casheyane What you need is a little faith in others. The saying it, is an action.

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