I Miss My Family
Friend's 25th -> Look Back At Some Photo's... Wow what a dream. I just looked back over some shots - local area, family, friends, particularly an album of Dad & another of my sister, and both my (now dead) dog Scally and cat Fluff. They were all amazing. I moved out for uni, saw them every 3 months, and then moved again and see them even less.
After the album of Dad I just broke down into tears. I've been deep into psychoanalysis since I left home, analysing situations to find the best option and outcome for all, partners, some of myself (without guidance, so only a partial success - I have no confidence in my convictions so the power to overcome things isn't easy to find).
Now I look, and think 'It's just life. Why bother? If I could only relax, have fun with them and enjoy life together that would be plenty.'
Of course, it is only because I put all that effort in in the first place, that I was able to enjoy the times in the photo's. What a cruel world - either delay gratification by suffering first, or have none.
Now I've melted away into nothing, and my hands are typing. I have no idea what will come. . . I've lost my eyesight partially, and closed my eyes. Music off. Then, nothing coherent as I know the keyboard on this netbook is crap. Never quite done that before, but hey. Bye for now.
After the album of Dad I just broke down into tears. I've been deep into psychoanalysis since I left home, analysing situations to find the best option and outcome for all, partners, some of myself (without guidance, so only a partial success - I have no confidence in my convictions so the power to overcome things isn't easy to find).
Now I look, and think 'It's just life. Why bother? If I could only relax, have fun with them and enjoy life together that would be plenty.'
Of course, it is only because I put all that effort in in the first place, that I was able to enjoy the times in the photo's. What a cruel world - either delay gratification by suffering first, or have none.
Now I've melted away into nothing, and my hands are typing. I have no idea what will come. . . I've lost my eyesight partially, and closed my eyes. Music off. Then, nothing coherent as I know the keyboard on this netbook is crap. Never quite done that before, but hey. Bye for now.
36-40, M