I Am Grieving
It's been almost 2 months.
The services are over. The cards and casseroles have dried up and for everyone else it is done and life has moved on. As far as friends many don't know what to say so they avoid me. I guess that is normal. I really don't have anything interesting to say except that my son died and I am grieving and for right now that IS my life. I am not the same person so you can either toss your previous perceptions of me and wait it out or move on. (This is directed at no one, I am speaking in a general sense.)
What am I doing? I am drinking my water and trying to eat. I am slowly regaining the ground I lost in my exercise regimen. I am doing my chores. I am writing and drawing and going to my grief group. I make myself talk to close friends when I really want to be left alone in my thoughts. I get up each morning and remember and then force myself into routines wishing for it to be dark so I can go to bed. All of this takes an unbelievable amount of energy when what I want to do is give up and drown.
The services are over. The cards and casseroles have dried up and for everyone else it is done and life has moved on. As far as friends many don't know what to say so they avoid me. I guess that is normal. I really don't have anything interesting to say except that my son died and I am grieving and for right now that IS my life. I am not the same person so you can either toss your previous perceptions of me and wait it out or move on. (This is directed at no one, I am speaking in a general sense.)
What am I doing? I am drinking my water and trying to eat. I am slowly regaining the ground I lost in my exercise regimen. I am doing my chores. I am writing and drawing and going to my grief group. I make myself talk to close friends when I really want to be left alone in my thoughts. I get up each morning and remember and then force myself into routines wishing for it to be dark so I can go to bed. All of this takes an unbelievable amount of energy when what I want to do is give up and drown.
51-55, F
