I Am Grieving

I think one of the hardest parts about grieving is that you become the "weird kid who eats glue" sitting alone in the back. Life has come to a screeching halt and everyone else around you is zooming along. Strangely there is comfort in that, because while you want people to care you simultaneously want them to leave you alone. C.S. Lewis once described it (upon the death of his wife) that he wants people around but wishes they would talk between themselves and not to him. My heart is full of contradictions. I distract myself with "normal" things then spend the rest of time remembering that nothing feels normal and that I'm really stumbling around pretending I know what I am doing.
-Raven