I Get To Push The Button
I created this group probably 10 years ago. It used to have a picture with it. A finger pressing a Ren and Stimpy jolly red, candy like button. But it was flagged and removed by sources who will remain unnamed. That is a story for another time. Maybe when you're older and have a firmer grasp on how things are. But for now, here is something off the top of my head. And a 1, a 2, a 1,2,3,4!
I was visited in my dreams last night by an old friend. He visits like that from time to time. He didn't have much to say. He never does, nor did he in life. Unless you count body language. He did not challenge me as he did during the living years. He just brought comfort to troubled dreams. He seems to show up when he is most needed, even when I do not know it. I always wake up feeling calm and peaceful, albeit a little sad in a world he no longer exists in. But such is the way of things. Nothing lasts forever. Not stars, planets, galaxies or terran life.
He loved car rides. I mean loved them. Some days, he would get out on me to tour the neighborhood. He had his people too, see. Some days he really wanted to see them, so every once in a while, he would show me who was really in charge by strutting out the door and refusing to come back. But the moment I pulled up in the car, all of that was forgotten, because it was car ride time. And then, nothing else mattered to him. Except that he was doing what he loved with the ones he loved.
Damn, did he ever challenge me. I am stubborn, but he took it to a new level. There was no mastering him. He was with me because he chose to be, and I could not help.but love him even more for it. Of all the people in town, he chose me. I would not have changed his stubbornness in any way. I saw a lot of myself in him. Attempting to change him would be like asking myself to change. That just wouldn't be right.
For someone his size, he had many fears. Thunderstorms, fireworks, the fear of being abandoned again. Anxiety issues from years of abuse. I found myself on more than one occasion sitting with him while the rain drove and thr thunder cracked. And it was worth it. Towards the end, I was working with him on his fear of heights. The last time I ever saw him, i made him walk across a bridge overlooking the Sulpher River. He freaked out at first, but as we walked the bridge again and again, he realized that I would never do anything to hurt him, and he became that much more confident in his strides. He looked up at me adoringly, with a big grin on his face. Another fear conquered.
His visit reminded me of a time when things were much simpler. When all it took to cure a massive depression was to look over the side of the bed and see him curled up beneath me. I knew then and there that I had done something right. His continued presence in my life proved this.
His love for me was unchallenged, as was mine for him. And that really is what it's all about. Unconditional love.
I miss him terribly today. While his life was short, like our time together, he changed me for the better. Apparently he is still making his rounds in the afterlife, but I have no.ghostly car to bring him home in. He is a free spirit, just as he was in life. Like I said, he wasnt long for this world, but while he was here, he made mine so much better. If our situations were reversed, I'm sure he would be writing this about me.
As long as I have dreams, death is not the end. As long as i have pictures and stories to pass down, he will be immortal.
Thank you, Nanook, for being my everything. I protest the fact that you cannot be here, but I also fully understand. I hope to see you again real soon. Maybe this next time I will have a pig ear for you.
[image deleted]
I was visited in my dreams last night by an old friend. He visits like that from time to time. He didn't have much to say. He never does, nor did he in life. Unless you count body language. He did not challenge me as he did during the living years. He just brought comfort to troubled dreams. He seems to show up when he is most needed, even when I do not know it. I always wake up feeling calm and peaceful, albeit a little sad in a world he no longer exists in. But such is the way of things. Nothing lasts forever. Not stars, planets, galaxies or terran life.
He loved car rides. I mean loved them. Some days, he would get out on me to tour the neighborhood. He had his people too, see. Some days he really wanted to see them, so every once in a while, he would show me who was really in charge by strutting out the door and refusing to come back. But the moment I pulled up in the car, all of that was forgotten, because it was car ride time. And then, nothing else mattered to him. Except that he was doing what he loved with the ones he loved.
Damn, did he ever challenge me. I am stubborn, but he took it to a new level. There was no mastering him. He was with me because he chose to be, and I could not help.but love him even more for it. Of all the people in town, he chose me. I would not have changed his stubbornness in any way. I saw a lot of myself in him. Attempting to change him would be like asking myself to change. That just wouldn't be right.
For someone his size, he had many fears. Thunderstorms, fireworks, the fear of being abandoned again. Anxiety issues from years of abuse. I found myself on more than one occasion sitting with him while the rain drove and thr thunder cracked. And it was worth it. Towards the end, I was working with him on his fear of heights. The last time I ever saw him, i made him walk across a bridge overlooking the Sulpher River. He freaked out at first, but as we walked the bridge again and again, he realized that I would never do anything to hurt him, and he became that much more confident in his strides. He looked up at me adoringly, with a big grin on his face. Another fear conquered.
His visit reminded me of a time when things were much simpler. When all it took to cure a massive depression was to look over the side of the bed and see him curled up beneath me. I knew then and there that I had done something right. His continued presence in my life proved this.
His love for me was unchallenged, as was mine for him. And that really is what it's all about. Unconditional love.
I miss him terribly today. While his life was short, like our time together, he changed me for the better. Apparently he is still making his rounds in the afterlife, but I have no.ghostly car to bring him home in. He is a free spirit, just as he was in life. Like I said, he wasnt long for this world, but while he was here, he made mine so much better. If our situations were reversed, I'm sure he would be writing this about me.
As long as I have dreams, death is not the end. As long as i have pictures and stories to pass down, he will be immortal.
Thank you, Nanook, for being my everything. I protest the fact that you cannot be here, but I also fully understand. I hope to see you again real soon. Maybe this next time I will have a pig ear for you.
[image deleted]
41-45
