I Like a Girl
Did not see this one coming...
(a quick heads-up: sad story incoming).
- Today was supposed to be a day like every other. Given the title, you're probably guessing that this was not the case.
Two of my sister's friends came to visit today. I've known one of them for several years now. The other one, I've never seen in my life.
Now, I was never the type to think with his phallus. But even so, her beauty left me speechless. From the very first moment I saw her, I wanted to know more about her.
But...
Why must there always be a "but"?
I want to know her, to get closer to her... and at the same time I want to run away. To run, as far as possible. Because no woman should ever have to be with a liar - and that is exactly what I would be. Because telling the truth would mean letting her see all the things that are wrong with me.
In this, Experience Project is different than real life. Here, I speak the truth through my stories, and those who accept them will eventually become my friends. Those who do not, mean nothing to me. They are nothing more than words written on my screen. As if they never existed to begin with.
In real life, the process is reversed. Whether or not she accepts all the rot and the rust inside of me doesn't matter. I have to accept her first, and by doing so I put myself in a position I will never allow myself to be. Because a broken heart is the only thing left in this world strong enough to kill me.
So, yeah. I best get my running shoes. Maybe if I run far enough, I may just forget that smile.
(a quick heads-up: sad story incoming).
- Today was supposed to be a day like every other. Given the title, you're probably guessing that this was not the case.
Two of my sister's friends came to visit today. I've known one of them for several years now. The other one, I've never seen in my life.
Now, I was never the type to think with his phallus. But even so, her beauty left me speechless. From the very first moment I saw her, I wanted to know more about her.
But...
Why must there always be a "but"?
I want to know her, to get closer to her... and at the same time I want to run away. To run, as far as possible. Because no woman should ever have to be with a liar - and that is exactly what I would be. Because telling the truth would mean letting her see all the things that are wrong with me.
In this, Experience Project is different than real life. Here, I speak the truth through my stories, and those who accept them will eventually become my friends. Those who do not, mean nothing to me. They are nothing more than words written on my screen. As if they never existed to begin with.
In real life, the process is reversed. Whether or not she accepts all the rot and the rust inside of me doesn't matter. I have to accept her first, and by doing so I put myself in a position I will never allow myself to be. Because a broken heart is the only thing left in this world strong enough to kill me.
So, yeah. I best get my running shoes. Maybe if I run far enough, I may just forget that smile.
36-40, M