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I am having second thoughts about my relationship because we have different goals and vision for the future?

Hello everyone. I hope y'all are staying safe in the coronavirus age. I've had some things on my chest and I'd like to get them out as well as take some advice from people who are more experienced.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now. We have been through a lot and we have gotten to a point we are very comfortable with each other and trust each other. However, the thing that I am struggling with is the fact that we have different goals and visions. In the beginning he was working for a great company and he seemed stable, other than the fact he was losing money in stocks. It was fine though because he was covering for his losses. However, he then lost his job with the company and he continued to invest in stocks. He lost over 30k in stock. He filed for unemployment and continued to use that to invest in stock and lose money. I thought that as time goes on, he would eventually get a job and stop investing or take a break.

Long story short, he got a job, continued to invest in stock, lost more money, and recently he lost his most recent job. With the current economic downturn, I advised him that this isn't a good time for investing as the economy and job markets are down and he only has 8k in savings. He invested all of his savings in the stock and continues to invest the unemployment funds into stock.

I'm just a little worried about my future with him. I have worked really hard to get to where I am now through working full time while completing my masters. I have goals for my future to improve and stay in the city. I'd one day like to get my own place and settle down, have a family, etc. Although my bf also wants that, when I asked him about his goals for the future, he believes that he wants to make all of his income through stock. He doesn't want to get an actual education but he lies about his education on his resume hoping he'll get lucky. He doesn't want to improve his English and he cannot read and write well. I have advised him multiple times to take some English courses, to maybe look to get an education, etc, but he doesn't want to... I've also noticed that he is extremely wishy washy. For example, he will see something that someone else is doing and all of a sudden he will want to do that too- which is what happened with the stocks.

You may be wondering why I'm still with him after reading this. The fact is that he is a great guy and we have so many other things in common. We can laugh together on different things, we get along with each other's families, and we have built trust. So I'm hoping I could just get some extra insight from more experienced people.

Also just to make things clear so people don't misunderstand- I also respect the fact that he is still able to pay for everything he needs to. But I'm worried about the fact that he is not being responsible about the future... He only has 8k in stocks and hes living month by month, spending his credit card to make sure he can pay for what he needs to. I'm just wondering where the future is taking us with this type of mindset.

Thank you for reading and please stay safe!
TexChik · F
You will never be able to build or have anything as long as you are with him. He basically has a gambling addiction and isn't living in reality. He's blowing all his unemployment and living off of you. While he might be a great guy, he will never be a provider, a stable father, or a competent life partner. The mere fact that you are asking these questions is a huge red flag. Though it might be very painful you should move on from him and find someone that can handle his business and be an equal in your relationship.
Harriet03 · 41-45, F
@TexChik ☝️ There's your answer!
TexChik · F
@Harriet03 😲
Harriet03 · 41-45, F
@TexChik Credit where credit is due. 🤷‍♀️
I'm not sure this question is financially answerable. At this point in time, investing in stocks might be the most brilliant financial move possible. Only time will tell.

If the two of you operate out of shared funds, then you should most certainly have an equal vote.

Perhaps the solution is separate funds and equal responsibilities for expenses. Then if he can't pay his share because of investment gambling, then you should accept that your values are different and base a decision about the relationship on that.
curiosi · 61-69, F
You are better off as friends. You wouldn't want to have a child with him.
Johnblackthorn · 56-60, M
The most important rule for playing the stock market is, "never invest money you cannot afford to lose" sadly your boyfriend knows this.
It sounds as though he's desperately trying to prove to himself that he can win, it also sounds like he's addicted to gambling, people have lost everything to this kind of behaviour, families, cars and homes.
He needs help.
MissAnonymous · 31-35, F
Why did he lose his job ?

 
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