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Am I too old fashioned for thinking that its best for the man to ask out the woman.

Poll - Total Votes: 28
Female Equality, doesn't matter who asks who
Prefer traditional gender roles in dating.
I'm a guy and I'm excited for women to ask me out.
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Family debate and it seems like I'm too old school. I just feel it's best if the woman doesn't appear too forward and to allow the man to show some interest first. I know that times are different but I still think that guys should make the first move.
No you're not. I feel exactly the same. There's nothing old-fashioned about it. I don't like these new rules. I like a gentleman to be a gentleman.
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
It's the woman's decision anyway, so from a logic point of view, it makes the most sense that women ask men out, instead of men having to bang their heads against 1,000 different walls until one opens up. Women's ratio would be significantly higher.

But, yes, due to fundamental instincts, the men have to do the initiation. And paying for dates. It's not a social construct; it's fundamental to our animal natures.

Because women want to be led by a man who can take charge, even if it's only an illusion, so women will never do the initiation [unless they're trying to prove women can initiate--or, unless they are trying to get with a guy way out of their league].
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@Tatsumi I agree with alot (not all) of what you said.
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
@REMsleep I'll take it.
MrsKatherineArch · 41-45, F
If you want the guy to ask, you can’t get mad if he doesn’t. But I’m like you, I prefer him to do the asking.
I definitely prefer if a guy does the asking. But there's always loopholes, you could say something like "If you play your cards right I might let you buy me dinner sometime." Then you didn't really ask but made it clear you're interested.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@GreenGoddess Yes exactly, encouraging words. Showing interest but not flat out asking out.
Yes, you are, IMO. But [b]you[/b] have the right to follow that standard. What other women do doesn’t affect you, so it’s not really your concern.
@REMsleep It’s not taking their place to ask someone out. Makes it even stranger that your women are accomplished in so many traditionally male dominated areas but not supposed to ask a man out for coffee. 😳
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@bijouxbroussard Wow its really amazing how we can see the same things so oppositely .
I cant say I totally get your frame of mind but I do think that women are amazing and not less in any way than men. Good thing about SW
@REMsleep And believe it or not I get what you’re saying. I’m shy. A man would generally have to make the first move, not because I think as a woman I shouldn’t, but because I know the person who [b]asks[/b] risks being shot down. And I’m not sure I’m up to that. But I know women who’ve taken even rejection like a boss. And men who haven’t.
Who are these men yall feel so compelled to ask out?? I will shoot my shot with Jason Momoa but thats it!
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
It's not only old-fashioned, but it's kind of nonsensical too. What's the difference between the man asking vs. the woman? Who cares? What does it really change in terms of the date?
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
@SW-User If she can't pay, then she should just wait for him to ask her out I guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But most women these days have jobs and could easily pay.
SW-User
@DearAmbellina2113 Yes most women have jobs and paying shouldn't be an issue but, and i dont have real data for this, but it seems even though most women work now they still prefer men pay for dates.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@SW-User Yes you are certainly correct. Most women would prefer that the man pay on the first date. Although once we are together I'm exceptionally generous.
SW-User
Im only excited to see how women fair in this department because they've been rather scathing towards us and how we approach😂.
Mrsbetweenfatandfit · 26-30, F
If ladies want to wait on men to do that so be it. But personally I don’t see the point. If a man asks a woman out it isn’t “ forward” so I don’t quite see why the opposite would be. I think if adults are attracted to each other, I don’t know why wait on a specific gender to decide its time to start seeing where things could go. Life’s short and I think confidence is attractive. It takes confidence to put yourself out there, man or woman.
UserNameSW · 46-50, M
Each should do what they are comfortable with. No need for inflexibility of rules.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@UserNameSW Agree. My family was debating on how to advise the younger generation in our family
UserNameSW · 46-50, M
@REMsleep advice them to become independent individuals and make their own choice.
midnightsun · 26-30, M
I don't care a long as she's hot
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REMsleep · 41-45, F
@Emosaur I feel that IN GENERAL the man is the leader in the relationship. We are equal but we both can't be the strong arm. We have to work together. I don't want to take his place in leading. If I were to approach a man I would feel that he might put me in a certain category that I don't want to be in.
Not judging those who do.
MrsKatherineArch · 41-45, F
@REMsleep That opens up a different discussion entirely. There are definitely areas where my husband leads, and there are areas where he follows me. Both bring a unique perspective to the relationship, so it isn’t just about who wears the proverbial pants.
Zonuss · 41-45, M
It's ok dear.

 
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