I'm an idiot for wishfully thinking and pretending I'd have someone to be friendless and alone with together. I'm selfish for wanting more friendship from the first real friend I'd had in years. I'm disgusting for not being happy for them because they're not alone anymore. I'm horrible for being angry at them when it's not their fault. I'm a moron for never being able saying anything. I'm terrible for letting feelings overcome logic. I'm so stupid to feel so strong about and attached to someone I never met.
I don't want to loose what I have even though I don't deserve it. I don't wanna be forgotten again.
Maybe if I just held on to the last few things I used loved about myself, even if I didn't like it anymore, this wouldn't have happened. I didn't hold on. I have no one blame but myself.
It's all my fault. I hate myself for all of it. I'm just tired...