I Am Depressed Because I'm Lonely

Ever since my mother passed about two years ago, it's always felt like nobody cares about me. It's like no matter who I try to reach out to, everyone just pities me. I'm already gradually losing friends, family doesn't really support how I cope with the loss, and it just feels like I'm trapped and can't talk to anyone about how i feel. I don't know what to do... It's so hard luggging around all of these extra feelings of hurt and having nobody to tell them to. It feels like nobody will ever understand how broken I feel deep down inside. It's very hard to be the same, happy old me everybody got used to knowing. Smiling gets harder every single day. I don't feel like i'll ever be the same.. I don't think I'll ever be able to relate with people and make new friends ever again. I wish I could be better... I wish I could just be happy for not only my sake, but everyone elses. I don't know what to do anymore... I wish I was someone worth loving. I don't even want romance in my life anymore. All I wish I had, is someone who will listen to me..