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I M A Friend Of A Friend Of A Friend

I have a friend who when I felt comfortable enough to show some sketches too. They went quiet then opened their phone and showed me a plethora of sketches they had made which were amazing.
They are very talented.
But
I just don’t get why they chose that moment to show me. They didn’t comment at all in mine. The moment was suddenly all about them.
I didn’t get it.

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djjohnson · 41-45, M

Did you ask them what was going on and tell them how you felt?

Carlisle · F

How does one do that? 🙂@djjohnson

djjohnson · 41-45, M

Simply tell them that when they didn't say anything about your sketches you felt "....." (tell them how you felt -ie hurt,sad,etc- not what you thought about them or why they did it). And then say that when they showed you theirs that you thought they were amazing but that you felt "...."

Carlisle · F

I wasn’t hurt. I just observed that this is how she responds whenever I show her my stuff. Without congratulating me. It gave me the impression that maybe she wasn’t comfortable being happy for others. And that’s fine with me also because she can only be herself. @djjohnson

djjohnson · 41-45, M

ie mean "for example." Those were just examples. You tell her how you felt. The trick is not to tell them why you think they did it. You said you think she might not be comfortable saying things to others. or that you felt the moment was all about them. My point was that you want to avoid saying that. Let them tell you what they were thinking or feeling. And you stick to what you were feeling. Give them the chance to explain their side. it will help you understand each other better.

Carlisle · F

And if it goes wrong? I think I’m just going to back off for now. I’m not a therapist and I would not feel comfortable confronting someone.