I Wanted To Say Goodbye
I really have no way of saying this. So i'm just going to. About a little more then two hours ago I tried to take my own life. The reason im sharing this with you all isn't for views or attention. Im sharing this because I want to help in destroying this stigma against suicide and depression.
We need to stop being ashamed about these experiances. We need to become a society where we aren't ashamed to talk about it in the open. Silence helps nobody and making people feel ashamed about themselves is even worse.
I'm sick of NOT talking about it and I have a lot of friends on here that I feel like should know what will be happening to me over the next few days. Through the course of my life I have only ever attempted suicide once when I was 15. Where I tried to cut my own throat open with a kitchen knife.
I never thought that I would ever try to take my own life again. Never in a million years. But six years later I have. My depression has spiralled out of control and I can't believe it has gotten so bad in the past three weeks.
That being said, the second I wake up tomorrow morning im going to seek medical attention and hospitalize myself where I hope to be put on suicide watch. Im pretty scared of that but it needs to happen. Truth is, a very large part of me doesn't want to die. I want to live but I am a flawed person who has demons. Right now the demons are winning and I need to fight back.
Obviously because of all this I will not be on this site for quite sometime. To which I apologize. I'm not sure how much time all of this is going to take. But it will take time. A lot of time I imagine and im very sorry for that.
So this is goodbye for now. It won't be a goodbye that lasts forever. More like a "see you later" then a real goodbye. Not unlike having a sick friend who needs to get better. I look forward to getting well and seeing all of you again some day. Until then, Goodbye <3 xoxoxo
We need to stop being ashamed about these experiances. We need to become a society where we aren't ashamed to talk about it in the open. Silence helps nobody and making people feel ashamed about themselves is even worse.
I'm sick of NOT talking about it and I have a lot of friends on here that I feel like should know what will be happening to me over the next few days. Through the course of my life I have only ever attempted suicide once when I was 15. Where I tried to cut my own throat open with a kitchen knife.
I never thought that I would ever try to take my own life again. Never in a million years. But six years later I have. My depression has spiralled out of control and I can't believe it has gotten so bad in the past three weeks.
That being said, the second I wake up tomorrow morning im going to seek medical attention and hospitalize myself where I hope to be put on suicide watch. Im pretty scared of that but it needs to happen. Truth is, a very large part of me doesn't want to die. I want to live but I am a flawed person who has demons. Right now the demons are winning and I need to fight back.
Obviously because of all this I will not be on this site for quite sometime. To which I apologize. I'm not sure how much time all of this is going to take. But it will take time. A lot of time I imagine and im very sorry for that.
So this is goodbye for now. It won't be a goodbye that lasts forever. More like a "see you later" then a real goodbye. Not unlike having a sick friend who needs to get better. I look forward to getting well and seeing all of you again some day. Until then, Goodbye <3 xoxoxo
