I Am A Social Misfit

Just got home from my 2nd Christmas party in 2 days. These events are very awkward and uncomfortable for me. I'm a loner and everyone else has a spouse or a date, I'm always the only single person there and I don't fit in. I don't know why but I'm extremely depressed after these events and I should be relieved that they're over with and done. I don't really want to die or even try to hurt myself, just don't want to feel like this anymore.