I Am Submissive

It's been 23 days since my Sir Hubby has passed away. It's 1:23 a.m.... I usually can't fall asleep till after midnight...sometimes till 2 a.m. I cry a whole lot. I got a wonderful dog he's a miniature australian shepherd and I call him my grief therapy dog. I shouldn't be spending lots of money because I'm down to one income and still got bills to pay...but I can't seem to stop buying stuff online or just overspending. I tried to dye my hair purple and blue and it didn't really take, but it did dye my bathroom floor! Tonight I poured a mix of baking soda and peroxide in my hair and now my hair is really red.

I feel out of control, but I just don't know what to do with myself.

Oh, I also made like this real raw video of me just talking/crying and asking some stupid questions about things pertaining to my husband and his death.... so now folks think I'm heading towards a nervous breakdown... I don't know if I am, I don't want to be.

I say stupid stuff too. I don't think I'm right in the head. :'(

QuietEd2019 · 31-35, M

I am really sorry to hear about your husband 😔 I am sure the pain and grief is unimaginable 😔 as Geoam1 said your husband wouldn’t want you to be overwhelmed by grief, if he was here now he would be cheering you up in some way and reassuring you that he is always with you in your heart and that he would love to see you live your life for him and you.

Pfuzylogic · M

You are in the midst of finding your way and making a space for your grief for a wonderful man. As strong as you are, all of this is overwhelming but you still remain a beautiful lady that your husband would want to find peace. Our Lord is there. You are in my heart and mind and I do hope that you find the grace for this season.

Maggimay · 46-50, F

As hard as it might be, just try to be kind to yourself and I bet everything you are feeling is normal. Your world has been turned upside down and now, you must learn to live in this new normal.

Again Gem. Deepest condolences 🥰😘🥰