I Am Hopelessly In Love
So, this story probably sounds rather dumb and hopeless because well, let's be realistic, it is!
So around August 2014 I was about 18 years old and I was just going through some rough patches in life. I decided I no longer wanted to be a part of this world. I felt my family didn't really care whether or not I lived as well and afterwards, my mother in so many words confirmed this assumption. I was beyond depressed. You could see it in the way I walked and talked. "I had a body, but no soul." Anyways, I ended up in the hospital for two weeks trying to get my liver to heal. Eventually the doctors and psychiatrists determined it was vital for me to go to Peachford (a mental institution) After all it didn't seem like my mental health was improving. I refused to eat and even talk...
I was accepted into this "lodge" program that basically gave you an apartment with other mentally inept people or drug addicts to live with. You were expected to go to meetings daily, as I did.
Before I met him...
it was as if I subconsciously knew I was going to meet the love of my life that day. I was happy for no reason...singing in front of strangers and starting conversations with people to my astonishment.
I met Phillip Cole Lindsay (Yes, I put a name because if I never get a chance with him again, I at least hope that one day he will find this and read this and on a bad day...he shall always know I have always loved him. Always will and there is someone who cares for his well being.)
The first thing I remember is his light, ice blue eyes. He had and still has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I saw so much more than that though...I saw a man who has so much pain and suffering and someone who craves to love and be loved but just doesn't exactly know the right path to take.
Later on, we went to the pool and talked under the full moon. Expressing our feelings...telling each other some rather dark secrets. Our connection was so strong. So strong I swear up and down we heard each other in our heads. He would say random things I was thinking. We made promises to each other but of course when he went to rehab, he changed and those promises weren't kept...
however, it has been three years and there still isn't a day he doesn't cross my mind. It is so hard to not be a stalker and just let it go but I can't push for something when I feel he doesn't want it.
I am sorry for calling you a pathetic loser. Lol. I don't think that at all. I see so much potential and success coming from you and I just wish things were different. But I am a dreamer and I will keep wishing on shooting stars that you will be mine in another lifetime
I love you Phillip Cole Lindsay and I don't want anything from you other than you to know I GENUINELY love you...unconditionally and eternally.
-Steph
So around August 2014 I was about 18 years old and I was just going through some rough patches in life. I decided I no longer wanted to be a part of this world. I felt my family didn't really care whether or not I lived as well and afterwards, my mother in so many words confirmed this assumption. I was beyond depressed. You could see it in the way I walked and talked. "I had a body, but no soul." Anyways, I ended up in the hospital for two weeks trying to get my liver to heal. Eventually the doctors and psychiatrists determined it was vital for me to go to Peachford (a mental institution) After all it didn't seem like my mental health was improving. I refused to eat and even talk...
I was accepted into this "lodge" program that basically gave you an apartment with other mentally inept people or drug addicts to live with. You were expected to go to meetings daily, as I did.
Before I met him...
it was as if I subconsciously knew I was going to meet the love of my life that day. I was happy for no reason...singing in front of strangers and starting conversations with people to my astonishment.
I met Phillip Cole Lindsay (Yes, I put a name because if I never get a chance with him again, I at least hope that one day he will find this and read this and on a bad day...he shall always know I have always loved him. Always will and there is someone who cares for his well being.)
The first thing I remember is his light, ice blue eyes. He had and still has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I saw so much more than that though...I saw a man who has so much pain and suffering and someone who craves to love and be loved but just doesn't exactly know the right path to take.
Later on, we went to the pool and talked under the full moon. Expressing our feelings...telling each other some rather dark secrets. Our connection was so strong. So strong I swear up and down we heard each other in our heads. He would say random things I was thinking. We made promises to each other but of course when he went to rehab, he changed and those promises weren't kept...
however, it has been three years and there still isn't a day he doesn't cross my mind. It is so hard to not be a stalker and just let it go but I can't push for something when I feel he doesn't want it.
I am sorry for calling you a pathetic loser. Lol. I don't think that at all. I see so much potential and success coming from you and I just wish things were different. But I am a dreamer and I will keep wishing on shooting stars that you will be mine in another lifetime
I love you Phillip Cole Lindsay and I don't want anything from you other than you to know I GENUINELY love you...unconditionally and eternally.
-Steph
26-30, F
