I Get Emotional Over Stupid Things
I was driving around this morning to pick up my adult daughter. On my way I saw a kid, around 2 years old maybe, walking in his house's lawn. You know, with that staggering way little kids walk, like every step is such a challenge... The kid (I couldn't figure out whether it was a boy or a girl) tried to run (wanting to catch up to her mom, who had just entered the house). Not really "run", but that quick pace walk kids do... For a second I had a little flashback... Those years when we know nothing, when "our house" is this mysterious, unexplored universe... Those years when we try our hardest to "do it right". Be it walk, be it talk, be it "behave". Just trying. Trying to bring a smile from our parents, eager that they feel "proud" of us somehow. Nothing else exist in the universe in those years. We learn, we try. We don't have a clue about anything, but we try darn hard to learn things, and doing them the right way. Turning on a faucet. Opening a drawer. Eating. Walking. Understanding what we're. Helping. Not getting in the way. All that matters is to make smile these strange creatures who care for us, feed us, who seem to understand absolutely everything and have spectacular strength and intelligence. I thought of me in those days, innocent little creature. Thought of my daughter when she was little, same, a little bundle of goodness, trying her best, trying to understand things and doing them right, from turning the TV on, to learning how to skate.
Thought of my parents too, both in their eighties, but with onset of dementia (my mom doesn't really know who I am anymore).
That's what we all do. We try to do the right thing. Yes, we *all* always try to do the *right* thing. But things get complicated, life gets overwhelming, we lose track of our goals, of what's important, because there's "so much to do". Pay bills, do groceries. Work, work, work. Sleep, eat...
I kind of miss those days when my only goals in life were learning to walk properly and getting a smile from my parents. It went downhill from then...
Thought of my parents too, both in their eighties, but with onset of dementia (my mom doesn't really know who I am anymore).
That's what we all do. We try to do the right thing. Yes, we *all* always try to do the *right* thing. But things get complicated, life gets overwhelming, we lose track of our goals, of what's important, because there's "so much to do". Pay bills, do groceries. Work, work, work. Sleep, eat...
I kind of miss those days when my only goals in life were learning to walk properly and getting a smile from my parents. It went downhill from then...
