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I've Made Mistakes In Life

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I got married in 1992. I can't say it was the "happiest day of my life". I was very much in love, yet I felt terribly anxious about what lied ahead... I had been living with my parents to save money, had just started my first real job, just out of college, and I wondered if I would be able to pay all my bills and be able to "support a family". Maybe I just have a pessimistic streak, or maybe it was a six sense, but I was anxious that my "married life" might turn out being a total disaster in the end.

Fast forward 25 years. Divorced, broke, alone. It turns out, my worst fears were totally justified!

My advise for all the young people that post here wanting a girlfriend or a boyfriend: I know how you feel, I know the intense eagerness to "love and be loved". But frankly, I wish I had never had a girlfriend. I would have been able to focus on my career and make/save a lot of money. Then, after I had "my shit together", I would have been able to pick and chose. It was a big mistake trying to "wing it" and "believe in the power of love", marrying before I had achieved financial stability and a solid career.

These are my words of wisdom. You've been warned. You're welcome
51-55, M
3
13 replies
31 views
Mar 5, 2018
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sleepykoala26-30, F
馃槴 now this make me scared of getting married even more
contrails51-55, M
[@498216,sleepykoala] I got married at 26. Yes getting married seemed like the natural/normal thing to do... We had been dating for 4 years so it was "about time"... But if I had a crystal ball I'd had waited until my mid 30s...
馃槖
sleepykoala26-30, F
but what's the problem?
contrails51-55, M
[@498216,sleepykoala] I think "the problem" is to be sure there is a solid financial foundation when you start a family... But like [@10033,hippyjoe1955] says, every life is different, you may just get lucky starting your married life from scratch...
hippyjoe195561-69, M
Moved out of my parent's house when I was 17. Put myself through college debt free. Met a wonderful woman a year younger than me when I was 22 and married her 3 months later. That was 40 years ago and we are more in love today than we were when we married.
contrails51-55, M
[@10033,hippyjoe1955] There you go. 5 years of hard work paid off.

Oh, were you just trying to rub it in...? 馃槖
hippyjoe195561-69, M
[@560058,contrails] Nope just to show everyone that mileage may vary. Your tale of woe is no more typical than my tale of joy.
iagreed61-69, M
[@10033,hippyjoe1955] Wise words hippyjoe
RaineF
A lot of marriages, mine included, end in divorce. But you can still make a happy life for yourself. Meet new people and go out etc.
contrails51-55, M
[@490299,Raine] It's complicated. The "broke" part is not conductive to socializing/dating... But thanks for the suggestion :)
Mert535636-40, M
Life is something that one can only imagine will have great rewards unless things are really planned. A notion or dream of a simple college degree doesn't guarantee anything. One has to know what they want before they start any new path.

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